So, first of all, I feel better. I go through these “blue periods” a la Picasso (except I’m not a famous artist and I take anti-depressants, so…) and I can be very broody/angsty/anti-everything and very little sunshine can touch me when I’m under one of these rain clouds.
But it can’t rain ALL the time.
Case-in-point, I woke up and drove to the city today to retrieve Mr. MLACS from the airport–it’s a sunny day, birds are chirping, and I’m admiring the emerald green countryside as I drive, marveling at God’s green earth and singing to the radio. You know, like 180 degrees difference from how despondent I felt last week. Welcome to depression–it’s like riding the freakiest roller coaster you can imagine. One thing I can say is, in a world defined by opposites, I enjoy the “highs” as much as I lament the “lows”. And I mean, I’m *medicated*…I vaguely remember what life was like before Buproprion…I’d rather not.
I definitely feel judged for taking medication. But I have to laugh when people who are miserable tell me that they are trying to avoid the drugs. Because, hey, they know I’m on drugs. And quite frankly, I have very little patience or time to listen to people who *choose to suffer* from OCD, depression, anxiety, etc. because they have the convoluted notion that not taking the drugs means that they are somehow less f*cked up than people (like me) who take them. Wishful thinking.
Anyways, so, I picked up Mr. MLACS and we picked up my *Buproprion* prescription from the CVS in the city, since there is no CVS where I live and (bless his heart) Dr. Angel cannot seem to get my prescriptions called into their mail order service–for whatever reason, it just never works for him (but it works for every other doctor I’ve seen, no problem). Maybe it’s his system? I dunno. But to ease the headache of it all I was like “Hey, just call them into the CVS in the city and I’ll pick them up!” So, mission accomplished. Crazy meds–Check!
And then…we went to PF Chang’s for lunch…
Because (obviously) there is not a PF Chang’s where we live, so it’s kind of a BFD for me to get their gluten-free fried rice when I pick up Mr. MLACS. And it was deeeelicous, as per usual.
And then…we got our fortunes…
And *call me crazy*, but, I’m inclined to think these fortunes are a good omen, and not a coincidence or a *cruel joke*. But then, PF Chang’s fortunes are always upbeat, so, this could be a coincidence where their particular brand of optimism was dubiously stacked on my table.
But see here…
“Good news of long-awaited event will arrive soon.”
“A Sound mind and healthy body bring many happy events to your family.”
“You will soon emerge victorious from the maze you’ve been traveling in.”