IUI #2

IUI #2 (December 2013)
I was heartbroken after IUI #1 failed. I suffer from depression and anxiety (for which I take Wellbutrin) and I was flooded with negative thoughts and emotions in the wake of IUI #1, which I could not control. I found brief moments of peace and consolation, which were quickly overpowered by panic and grief. Mr. MLACS was out-of-town for work but he tried to be supportive via Skype and phone calls. I knew I had to do SOMETHING to balance myself again, or IUI #2 would be a waste of time. So on CD 6 I began acupuncture with my wonderful friend Star. I immediately felt both physically and emotionally revived, and decided to return for weekly sessions. I can’t say that I felt confident going into IUI #2, but I felt hopeful, and more prepared to deal with disappointment if it should fail again.

CD 4: Letrozole, 2.5mg pill (I meant to start CD 3 but forgot to pick up the meds)
CD 5: Letrozole, 2.5mg pill
CD 6: Letrozole, 2.5mg pill, Acupuncture*
CD 7: Letrozole, 2.5mg pill
CD 8: Letrozole, 2.5mg pill

**Saw Dr. Angel on CD9 for monitoring. He found 2 lead follicles (7-8mm each) on the left ovary and no follicles on the right ovary (but no cysts, which is good). It is now apparent that my left ovary is dominant, but I’m still hoping that my right ovary can be convinced to grow a couple follicles. My goal is to release 4 mature follicles at 18mm+

CD 9: Bravelle, 75iu injection
CD 10: Bravelle, 75iu injection
CD 11: Bravelle, 75iu injection
CD 12: Bravelle, 150iu injection
CD 13: Bravelle, 150iu injection, Acupuncture*
CD 14: Bravelle, 150iu injection
CD 15: Bravelle, 150iu injection
CD 16: Bravelle, 150iu injection (Christmas Day!)

**I was irritated that I only had two follicles growing on my left ovary, because I wanted to increase my chances by having 3 or 4 follicles–what’s the point of injectables if you’re not trying to push the envelope a bit? So in an effort to recruit more follicles, Dr. Angel doubled my dose of Bravelle from 75iu to 150iu. Of course, as I suspected, this was in vain because the recruitment of follicles occurs earlier in the cycle. Not only did I end up with just 2 follicles (despite a high AMH of 4.52), but they also grew more slowly than they did during IUI #1, even though we doubled the dose of Bravelle! Weird. By CD16, Dr. Angel was satisfied that there were 2 mature follicles, measuring 19 and 20mm. But he wanted them to both reach 20mm before triggering. I was instructed to begin taking my Endometrin progesterone supplements today. I was nervous about waiting another day to trigger, because I had a feeling I might ovulate sooner this cycle…

CD 17: HCG, 10,000iu shot (both follicles now measured 20mm+)

**The next morning Mr. MLACS and I went (again) to the center for reproductive medicine at our local university hospital, where they collected his ‘specimen’ and prepared it for the IUI. Mr. MLACS has now quit smoking cigarettes for 2 months and this was possibly reflected in his sperm. His count was over 300 million, post-wash was over 140 million, with 52 million at 100% motility–and a much higher percentage of rapid swimmers.

**We went to Dr. Angel’s office and he pulled out the ‘dildocam’ and by now (after 20+ monitoring sessions) I know what I’m looking at–my heart stopped as I looked at my left ovary and desperately searched for my 2 lead follicles…and Dr. Angel confirmed my fear–I had already ovulated! How could this be?! I didn’t even feel it–last time I woke up writhing in pain! I started to FREAK out, but Dr. Angel wouldn’t allow it–he said “No, this is IDEAL, this is even better”. I decided to cling to this hope–praying that I had ovulated only a few hours ago so that the timing was right for IUI #2.

CD 18: IUI #2 (post-ovulation)

**Dr. Angel instructed us to go home and have sex, which we did. I laid around all day, feeling exhausted. I was VERY VERY irritable for the next few days. Mr. MLACS and I did fight and I had a near panic-attack approximately 6dpiui (same day we fought during IUI #1). The fight wasn’t as bad, but I experienced a hurricane of conflicting emotions: on one hand, I want to be pregnant and have a family with Mr. MLACS. On the other hand, I want a one way ticket to Europe to fulfill my ‘bucket list’ and forget about trying to have a marriage or children. I took 1/2 a Valium and went and got acupuncture from Star, in the hopes that–if stress caused IUI #1 to fail–I could salvage IUI #2 by calming the f*ck down.

**I’m not testing out the HCG trigger shot this time. In fact, I’m not testing at all. I’m well aware that I am not prepared to ride the roller coaster of negative HPT’s, so I’m (wisely) choosing to ignore the TWW. I had a glass of wine on NYE.

**Tested with a FRER at 12dpo and it’s negative (no hint of a line). I called Dr. Angel’s office and asked for a blood draw. Betas were confirmed negative at 13dpo. I asked Dr. Angel if we should take a break or go right into IUI #3, and he said “full speed ahead”. I’m nervous. I plan to change my protocol (injectables only) and we’ll do a double IUI with Mr. MLACS’s “spermcicles” (he’ll be gone for work) and so the timing will need to be impeccable. What will I do if we get another BFN??? I didn’t cry this time–I started googling to find explanations and facts. A lot of docs say that if it doesn’t work within 4 tries then you ought to move on to IVF. I’m nowhere near ready to seriously consider IVF–it was just 14 months ago that we first started trying! We got pregnant twice naturally! Why isn’t this working?!

**TTC related drugs and supplements: Metanx (folic acid), Endometrin (progesterone), baby aspirin, fish oil capsules, probiotics, *switched to prescription prenatal vitamin
**Medications: Delzicol, Buproprion, Rowasa or Canasa, Synthroid
**I have been 100% gluten-free for 3 months

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