4 Months (Attachment Parenting, etc.)

2015-08-03 22.16.18

Hey folks! It’s been a hot minute.

A lot has been going on with baby girl (BG). First off, breastfeeding is going great! She has been steadily gaining and is following the same curve on the charts–95th percentile in height, 10th percentile in weight. So that’s good! I did, however, stop eating dairy because come to find it was really upsetting her tummy. It sucks not being able to eat cheese. But you know what sucks worse? Watching your kid writhing in pain and feeling helpless. So it’s a no-brainer. I’d like to thank Starbucks for carrying my milk-of-choice, coconut milk! I already used coconut milk creamer for my coffee at home. Now everything I make is gluten-free and dairy-free and I sub coconut milk for cow milk and coconut oil for butter in recipes. Works great and coconut oil is healthier anyways.

BG had her vaccinations (I delayed them a bit due to our breastfeeding/weight gain issues) and she did really well. I LOVE our new pediatrician! I can email her anytime & get a direct response from her, and she is always happy to open up her schedule if need be (she is booked out for months). BG likes her too–babbles to her and never fusses at her. I could not be happier that we switched to her 🙂 Naturally now that I’ve found *the one* we’ll be moving soon (more on that later).

Baby girl has made leaps & bounds in her development recently! She is grabbing for everything (toys, my cell phone, my hair, the dog, etc.) And she is shoving everything in her mouth (see above). She actually *likes* tummy time now (previously hated it) and is trying to figure out how to crawl. She also likes to stand (supported) and sit (supported) and is holding her head up like a pro. BG likes to touch and help turn the pages when we read books. When I bake she wants to see what’s happening inside the mixing bowl. She lights up when Koa licks her hands and face and she likes to pet him. She loooooves it when I sing to her–especially Old Macdonald. She will sit in her bouncer or rock ‘n play and when she gets excited she flaps her arms and kicks her feet wildly, though most of the time she is chewing on a teething toy and studying me. She gets pissed when I ignore her to return a text or google something–I constantly scold myself for getting distracted by my phone. She is such a character! Such a delight! My sweet, precious baby girl.

We are still co-sleeping and in fact she is snuggled next to me now–she will only fall asleep on the boob and lately she wakes up if I’m not next to her so I spend naptimes curled up with her and playing on my phone. And I don’t mind spending 15 hours a day in bed with my baby (well sometimes I get a little frustrated but not much). We are definitely doing the “attachment parenting” thing by default, totally unplanned. I just got an ergo 360 carrier and it’s great! I love this carrier & I love the maya ring sling–more importantly *she* loves them (see pic of her in the ergo 360). I love babywearing because I can do stuff and keep her close to me, which is where she wants to be.

Poor baby has begun teething–nothing poking through yet but just a matter of time. This past week has been rough–there has been a lot of tylenol and a lot of me thinking I will lose my mind if she doesn’t stop screaming (and nothing I’m trying is working to soothe her).It is f*cking HARD being with her 24/7 when Mr. MLACS is gone and she is fussy and not sleeping consistently or well. I still have hardly even left her with Mr. MLACS, whom she adores, and I dare not leave her with a sitter. She is very, very clingy and very wary of people. I believe this will pass but I’m not going to push her and leave her feeling abandoned and vulnerable. So she’s my constant companion. Like seriously, we are never more than 5 feet from each other.

Luckily BG likes to go for walks in her stroller, so I’ve been getting out at least every other day. I *need* these walks! For my health (physically *and* mentally). I do miss the gym and taking classes, and I miss my svelte girlish figure (it’s all mushy now). But that can wait.

Life with a 4mo old is a roller coaster. Everything has been changing so quickly–even her moods–one minute all smiles and the next minute blood curdling screams of protest.

Besides motherhood (which is all-consuming) my health has been so-so. I think the Domperidone is inflaming my colon and causing my UC to “flare”, but I refuse to quit taking it b/c I want to continue to EBF. I keep getting sores in my mouth (lovely side effect of a flare) and I’m back to using my enemas every. single. day. I feel like I was Cinderalla at the ball while pregnant (in remission, glowing) and now *POOF* I’m back to barely being able to control my disease and living with the drudgery of treatment and side effects. It sucks. I put the rock ‘n play in my bathroom because I keep having to rush in there–not how I want to spend time with my kid. But thank God it’s not worse–it can always be worse! My GI doc wants to do a colonoscopy but I flatly refuse b/c I’d have to use at least a mold sedative and would be away from BG for hours and unable to breastfeed for hours–the poor baby would be traumatized! Hell no. Plus what’s the point? Nothing has changed. And they’ll want to put me on more meds. Nope.

This is all I have time for right now. There’s more. There’s family stuff and friend stuff and such and so on. But just figured I’d check in.