Can you believe she’s 12 weeks old?! Geeeez, this precious time has flown by.
Update on the Boobs:
I did receive my shipment of Domperidone from New Zealand! My milk is now meeting my baby’s needs. She is still a super tall, skinny kid *but* she now poops daily or every other day and I can hear her “gulp, gulp gulp” when she nurses. She’s in the 95th percentile for height and the 10th percentile for weight, but now there’s no question that that is genetics (not a low supply). I am not “carefree” or without nursing issues (my Raynaud’s still hurts like a mofo), but, I am relieved.
Mr. MLACS is currently at work in Canada. I miss him but in some ways it’s easier when he’s gone because I just work around the baby’s schedule. There’s a re-adjustment period when Mr. MLACS comes home and it frustrates me when my routine is even remotely f*cked with. Also, the baby takes a few days to warm up to him and as important as it is for him to care for her and bond with her, it’s easier/smoother if I just do it myself. When she fusses in his arms I have to try and bite my tongue and let him figure it out. And I mean, he doesn’t suck–he’s just not *me*.
I know it would be easier if he weren’t traveling for work and I’m not going to lie–I resent that he’s gone and then comes home and f* ks up our routine. On the other hand, Mr. MLACS works HARD and provides the means to our comfortable life. He is the reason I’m able to fulfill my desire to be a SAHM–in fact he encourages me and is happy and proud of how I care for our family. He is an amazing partner and does everything he can to make my life easier, both while he’s away and when he’s home. And he allows me to indulge in my newest obsession…
Shopping on amazon.com with amazon prime. Seriously, I’ve spent over $200 this week on baby clothes/toys/etc. I have expensive taste but I do try to get stuff on sale (Hatley, Tea Collection, Finn + Emma, Burts Bees, etc) We also use Honest disposable diapers (I looove their fun prints!) I think Mr. MLACS encourages me to shop for several reasons:
1. It makes me happy & keeps me occupied during mundane times of day when lil one is asleep on my lap (like now).
2. He loves the stuff I buy–he gets excited about her outfits too!
3. He appreciates quality, so he doesn’t mind spending more $ to buy what works best for us. Hatley clothes fit her best b/c they are made for tall, skinny kids.
4. He gets that I waited until I was 35 to become a Mom, and that it means a lot to me to be able to buy her what I think is best–without worrying about how economical it is.
So yeah, I shop A LOT now. Online.
Of course, I also make frequent trips to Target. Did I tell you about the time that I was in *the furthest corner of the store* like 10 miles from the exit and my kid woke up and started SCREAMING bloody murder, so I raced to the exit as passers by either looked at me with pity or contempt, and then I got to the car and realized I had unwittingly stolen a baby blanket in my *state of emergency*. Yeah…that happened. And no, I didn’t go back in and pay for it. I’m a criminal. #momburglar
Ok, bullet points or this will ramble on for-ev-er:
● I haven’t ever left my kid. Ever. Not even with her Daddy. That’s on me. But next time he comes home I’d like to go to the gym at least a couple times to take classes.
● Mr. MLACS and I took the baby in her stroller to the driving range to hit some golf balls last time he was home. We got some strange looks.
● I have had some social anxiety. I want to see friends and normally I would get a group together. But the thought freaks me out. So I’ve been trying to see people one-on-one and get out more, but in small doses. My therapist approves.
● We have family drama on both sides. It sucks. I worry (anxiety) what would happen if we orphaned our kid. Because they are ALL assh*les. We need to make a living will. If you can’t tell, I’m freaked out about dying. Like in a car wreck or something random that I have no control over. PPA, much? Anyone else?
That’s about all I have time for, and good grief I’ve probably bored you with this random crap! But, eh, this is my life in a nutshell.
Well, this and laundry and *snuggles* ❤