My BG has just celebrated her FIRST BIRTHDAY!

I went all-out and threw her a luau-themed birthday party. It was a lot of work but it paid off–BG loved it–and all the kids and parents enjoyed the food and activities. For one of the activities I set up a DIY lei station, where you could string your own lei with colorful paper flowers and straws. I put the tutorial for that up on my other blog. I made *everything* gluten-free, and the menu included: Hawaiian bbq chicken, coconut sticky rice, fresh pineapple, white chocolate macadamia nut cookies, and guava thumbprint cookies. I ordered her cupcakes from a local baker, and those were strawberry with cream cheese icing (I still have a dozen cupcakes in my freezer for a rainy day, yay!) BG beamed when everyone sang Happy Birthday to her, but she wasn’t the least bit interested in the cupcake. She really liked the guava cookies though! 

I bought some decorations from Etsy, including one of those “my first birthday” posters (luau themed, of course). BG now has 6 teeth. She is 31 inches tall and weighs 19lbs. Her favorite food is sweet potato. Her favorite book is “That’s Not My Penguin”. She loves her puppy and kitty. She waves, high-fives, says “mama” and “dada”, and she can make hand signs for “more”, “all done”, and “milk”. She can walk with just holding onto one finger (so barely supported) but she has not taken her first independent steps yet. 

For her birthday I upcycled a table and chairs for her, which turned out beautifully. I also bought her a little kitchen and plan to begin painting it this week (ok probably next week). I already purchased her baking set, pots, pans, utensils *and* a mini wooden keurig! Seriously, the kid knows what to do in the kitchen, because she’s spent countless hours watching and “helping” me (stirring pretend batter in a mini mixing bowl with a mini spatula–too cute). 

Despite my issues with breastfeeding and PPA, it has been a magical year. I feel so lucky to have spent the last 375 days getting to know BG–she is a spectacular little kid! 

I’ll reiterate: It was all worth it. Every tear,  every needle poke, every penny spent, every fight with Mr. MLACS…all the *pain* of infertility and loss…has culminated into this beautiful child. 

I would do it all again!




Touched Out

I have SO many incredible things to say about motherhood. But BG has literally been attached to me for the last 362 days (it’s almost her birthday!) And sooooo clingy today and not sleeping well lately and I just held her and nursed her for the last 3.5 hours and I’M TOUCHED OUT. I don’t want to be touched, anywhere, for any reason. If Mr. MLACS was home I would literally get in my car and drive aimlessly until I felt better. Real talk.



My life was mostly touch in those days. . .  All day long I touched the clean plates and bowls as I put them away, and the children’s heads slimy under shampoo in the tub, and the softness of their faces, and the scrape of poop off their goose pimpling backsides, the hot noodles, the heavy wet laundry as I threw it into the dryer, and the brick front steps as i sat reading to myself for eight minutes while they played just beyond the page in the prickling new grass, and then when one of them fell down I touched the grass and the mud and the scraped knee, and the sticky Band-Aids, and the wet cheek, and my jeans, and the dangling shoelace.”  —  Elizabeth Kostova, The Swan Thieves.  

I used to think of myself as an affectionate person.  At least I don’t remember being repulsed…

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