My Potterybarn Life

So of course the house won’t be finished on schedule. My gut instinct (and plenty of experience dealing with contractors) told me as much. They said it will be a “couple more weeks” and we can deal with that–but no more than that.

Meanwhile, I have been entertaining myself by shopping both online and in stores. It’s been quite a thrill! Mr. MLACS and I agreed on a budget and he has given me carte blanche to do as I please. I’m happy to say that I have been able to buy a lot of my first choice high-end items (potterybarn, restoration hardware, crate and barrel, west elm, williams sonoma, etc.) and then some lovely modestly-priced items as well (target, wayfair, hayneedle, home goods, etc.) and even some custom pieces from etsy and local artists.

But the “pièce de résistance” is my PB comfort slipcovered custom sectional sofa in “everyday linen”. I have always dreamed of having a potterybarn slipcovered sofa and I ordered exactly what I wanted–even upgraded to the feather down filling.

I also bought a PB leather recliner that I adore because it is very stylish, but it’s really for Mr. MLACS–mostly as a decoy so he doesn’t sit his greasy a** on my PB couch when he gets home from work or comes in from playing outside with BG and the dog. Mr. MLACS has been wanting a recliner for ages, so it’s win/win for both of us.

I see my facebook newsfeed full of fiery indignance about politics/politicians/social injustice/other very important things that I should be more aware of. And I wonder if I’ve truly become a shallow person, because I give no f*cks about any of it. None. I watch cartoons all day and sing songs and play playdoh and buy groceries and sweep up gobs of pet hair and cook dinner. But do you know what really inspires me??? What really matters to me???

My muthaf*ckin’ potterybarn sofa sectional. That’s what.

Sorry to disappoint you if you thought I was better than that. I’m not.

I have literally spent hours agonizing over which throw pillows to accessorize my couch with. HOURS. Who does that???

Me. I do that.

All the pinterest’ing and online shopping has been great because it keeps me off social media (I love/hate social media–mostly hate) and gives me something to look forward to. I feel giddy every time the doorbell chimes and I see the UPS/FedEx/USPS carrier making haste toward their vehicle, because I know that means there is a special delivery for moi! BG gets excited too and loves to open the boxes with me and reveal the “prize” (BG’s short for “surprise”) inside. It never gets old for either one of us.

I could sit here and wax poetic about all the faaaaaaabulous things I’ve recently acquired (the boxes of which are cluttering my foyer and the UPS guy has to wonder WTF is going on because I can barely open the door).

But let me also enlighten you about the current state of my colon.

I will see the IBD Specialist this Thursday (so 3 days from now). I need to discuss some things with her:

  1. I’ve still got this perianal fistula. Lately it itches a bit–is that good or bad? It doesn’t hurt though. And I’m still slightly incontinent (anal leakage). So I’d like to see one of their Colorectal surgeons and get their opinion. Also, I want to know if they will do a laser fistulotomy. And if they are capable of doing a colectomy laproscopically. Sh*t I should probably already have asked, but did not have the presence of mind to even consider until recently.
  2. The Stelara is working, but I worry. I just hit the 3 week mark post-infusion and I’ve read the half-life of Stelara is 3 weeks. I woke up today with a bit of blood and mucus. Is it wearing off already? Or is this a blip on the radar? My concern about it “wearing off” is legit IMO because I “failed” Humira due to my serum levels never accumulating to theraputic levels–because as IBD Specialist phrased it, my body “clears it too quickly”. So, like, maybe it’s clearing the Stelara too quickly? They have me scheduled to take my Stelara injection 8 weeks from the initial infusion, but they could move the Stelara up to every 4 weeks. My question is: what has to happen for them to give me Stelara every 4 weeks?
  3. I’m very determined to wean from the prednisone, and I’m down to 27.5 mg, but I was supposed to drop to 25 mg today and decided against it due to the blood and mucus. Frustrating.
  4. As my prednisone goes down my weight goes up. Isn’t it ironic? Prednisone was like dexatrim for me at higher doses. I lost almost 30 lbs. And now I’ve gained like 25 of it back. I feel much stronger physically and much sharper mentally, so I’m grateful for that and I would WAY rather be chubby than sick. But, it’s still disappointing to have a fat face from prednisone and now a giggly tummy to match. This is definitely something I have some control over and I need to go back to recording my food on myfitnesspal and making better choices. However, it’s harder to make good choices when I’m tired and sore due to prednisone withdrawal–the fact is that I crave sugar. I should probably see an endocrinologist regarding my hypothyroid and adrenal fatigue.
  5. I still want to start TTC soon and I need to know the IBD Specialist’s criteria for when it’s in the realm of possibility. I don’t intend to wait until everything is peachy and perfect, because that likely will never happen. I just want to safely muddle through a pregnancy before having my colon surgically removed–this doesn’t require me to be in full remission, as half-assed remission will suffice.

Ok that’s all for now because BG is peeved that I have not been catering to her this morning and I’m afraid she’s going to complain to HR. Gotta go.

XOXO,

MLACS

 

 

 

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow…

Y’all know I just spent all kinds of money getting my hair done. And now it is f*ing falling out.

I’m pissed.

My shower walls are covered in hair (as it comes out in clumps when I wash it). My shower drain is clogged. I’m pulling huge hairballs off my brush almost daily. There’s hair all over my clothes, the floors, etc.

I don’t know exactly why this is happening but my best guess would be the 6MP that I started taking a few weeks ago. The same sh*t that facilitated my gaining 10 lbs since I started it. Nasty sh*t. And I’m only on 50mg/day. That’s not even a proper dose for my size. Technically it is not supposed to “work” until you’ve taken it for at least 6 weeks, and it’s not considered very effective as an immunosuppressant at such a low dose. So *technically* since I’m no longer taking Humira and don’t need 6MP to keep antibodies at bay, my IBD Specialist told me I can quit taking it the last time I saw her. But I thought it was helping so she said “If it makes you feel better (as in, mentally better because she doesn’t believe I could have a clinical response sooner than 6 weeks) then you can stay on it until after your Stelara infusion”.

Well, I’ve had the Stelara infusion and it *is* helping. I feel better! I even felt brave enough to drop my prednisone from 35mg to 32.5mg on Monday. So hey, given all the sh*tty side effects and the fact that IBD Specialist thinks the 6MP is *moot* in my treatment, then I should just quit… right?

But I’m scared. I’m afraid that it (6MP) is working to some extent and that quitting will impede my prednisone taper. And I want off the prednisone NOW–I want my *face* back (because “moon face”).

Which brings me back to… Maybe instead of f*cking with all these drugs, I should just have the (permanent ileostomy) surgery already. I know a stoma is forever and it wouldn’t make my life “gravy” but I am pretty f*ing sick of my current set of issues and I might like to trade them in for a new set–you know, for variety.

And also, I would look horrible bald.

XOXO,

MLACS