What If It’s The “C” Word?!!

I have a growth on the back of my leg and it looks like nodular melanoma. I felt it and then really looked at it tonight. I stopped short of taking a photo because I want to sit here and pretend it’s not that bad.

But I’m terrified.

I noticed it months ago and was alarmed but never had it looked at because *ALL THE BAD THINGS* happened and then I was just focused on trying to get better and doing all the things I love with the people I love…I forgot about it. It’s bigger now, I think.

And I’m at higher risk because I took Humira last year. Both my parents had melanomas removed from their faces too, but I don’t think it was nodular melanoma.

I’m scared. Any words of encouragement or wisdom?




5 thoughts on “What If It’s The “C” Word?!!

  1. There are so many different things it could be, dermatology is nuts. Of course, I don’t have to tell you that the sooner you get it checked out, the better! Thinking of you and hoping it’s nothing!

  2. Ok so scary but make that call to your doc ASAP. Hopefully it’s not what you think. Sending love and wishing you the best.

  3. I understand every word of your fear, and that desire to carve the mole right out of your own leg if you could. I had a melanoma scare in January. I found a new mole on my toe in September but decided it looked normal…..then paid more attention in January and decided it was most certainly not okay and fell into a complete anxiety spiral. It took about two weeks to get an appointment with the dermatologist, during which time my google search history showed about 150 different searches for melanoma images and stories. The dermatologist was “sufficiently concerned” and also found what he thought was a “satellite mole” on my nail bed…at which point I became nearly catatonic with panic. I cried for three days until the biopsy results came back….and it was BENIGN. A severely atypical mole that might have caused trouble in the future — but, when I caught it, benign. (And that thing the doctor thought he spotted on my nail bed was nothing.) I felt like I had been handed my life back. Wishing you equal luck that your terror and upset will prove to be unfounded.

    • Ahhhh! Our stories are so similar!!! Saw the derm today (no way I was waiting 2 weeks) and he removed it and sent it for biopsy *but* he thinks it’s a “blood mole”–I have never even heard of such a thing! Now I feel like Ebinezer Scrooge after the spirits visited him–like I have a new lease on life! It’s crazy. XOXO

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