On this day, 6 years ago, I married Mr. MLACS in a very awkward wedding ceremony at a court house in a small town in the BFE. Now for the record, Mr. MLACS had already proposed in June and we had planned a spring wedding. But I was having a UC flare that wasn’t responding well to steroids, so my GI at the time was suggesting Remicade–and I had no health insurance due to working non-traditional jobs and having a pre-existing condition (UC). Remicade infusions were like $20,000. And Mr. MLACS had very good health insurance through his employer. So without any real planning or fanfare, we just did it. And then had a celebratory dinner at some chain restaurant. It felt kind of twilight-zone-esque.
We told only our parents, as I was determined that my disease would not ruin our “real wedding” in Hawaii. We mostly ignored that we were technically married. But it added a calm to our relationship, knowing we were officially stuck with each other.
We had our dream wedding in Hawaii in spring 2012 and I didn’t end up needing Remicade until a year later. And then it stopped working pretty quickly so I only had maybe 3 infusions.
Fast forward to present-day…
Yesterday was our “marriage anniversary”. And here I am, sick as a dog because I have the freaking flu on top of my flare getting worse again because I lowered my Prednisone to 20mg and the Stelara shot is wearing off.
I had called my IBD Specialist the day before to inform them that I am ready for surgery.
Yep, it’s happening.
I’m having a (most likely permanent) ileostomy in the near future. Will see IBD Specialist and my CRS on Monday and schedule the surgery.
I just can’t go on like this. Or if I can, then I don’t want to.
I’m sort of freaking out but Mr. MLACS has been cool as a cucumber, as though he is unphased. At first I wanted a more emotional reaction from him, I mean, this is a BIG deal. But now I’m ok with Mr. MLACS remaining neutral because then I can be a basket case knowing he can handle everything.
So here we are, 6 years of marriage and 7 years of being together, and I’m having my colon removed. I actually did not see this coming. But it’s ok. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.