Waiting In The ER: Real Stories

I’ve been waiting to be seen for 4.5 hours, alone because I refuse to subject my family to the germs and all the crazy ass people.

Story #1

I find it odd that entire extended families parade into the ER when only one of them is ill and not even *that* ill because they are sitting there talking to all the aunts/uncles/cousins. Some of them even brought pillows and blankets. I do not understand this “borg” mentality, clearly, as I chose to be alone. Even if Mr. MLACS was here we’d just be looking at our phones because we are not the “loud family reunion in the ER” types.

Story #2

I find it odd and inappropriate that people bring kids to the ER when they don’t need to be there. I saw 5 little girls skipping down the hall in front of 4 adults–surely *one* of the adults coukd have kept the girls? ERs are not places for kids. Also, I saw a birthday party of pre-teen girls–like 8 of them–carrying gifts for someone. And then there are a bunch of teenagers…

Story #3

Speaking of teenagers, there was a band leader and a baton twirler girl dressed in their band uniforms, sequins and all! There are also several members of a track team. And some honky-tonk trouble makers who think it’s funny their friend hurt his hand.

Story #4

There was a mama here with her husband, toddler, and infant. She was here before me. And I felt so bad for her and her family having to wait. They were clearly stressed out and uncomfortable. Finally I heard the baby crying and saw the mama’s head in her hands and went and quietly asked if she needed anything, because my husband and daughter were close by and could drop something off. Poor thing was toast and said no thank you and they left shortly after. I wish she had been seen. I would have given her my spot if that was an option.

Story #5

So Mr. MLACS is parked in the parking with BG, who is watching cartoons in her carseat with a very full belly and fighting sleep. He tells me there are a bunch of people drinking in the ER parking lot. Seriously?! I’m not surprised but it’s so lame.

Story #6

There are some suuuuuper sick looking older people scattered around the waiting room slumped over in wheelchairs. They look like they are ready to die. Kind of creepy.

Then there’s me. Lookin all Johnny Cash “man in black” in head to toe black sweats and a ball cap. Glad I wore the ball cap because it is easier to avoid eye contact with weirdos. I was feeling like crap and then I spiked a 100° fever and I needed to have blood drawn anyways, so decided to hop on over to the ER round dinner time, thinking it wont be crowded because its early. And it wasnt too crowded. But my rookie ass forgot that they take people based on priority. So even though I was here early, at least 6 ambulances have pulled up with messy traumas and then there’s all the people who look like they are dying. And the junkies faking chest pains to jump the line. I am SO screwed. But I already had blood drawn and I do NOT want to have to go to labcorp tomorrow and spend 2 hours waiting there after I “did my time” here. And Mr. MLACS keeps telling me to stay.

But it sucks. I’m sore and achey. I havent eaten sh*t in the last couple days and I brought apple juice but I’ve run out. I am having colon “attacks” and the pain is real and I sit here squirming around, clenching my butt and my jaw, lest they call me while I run to the toilet. I did go twice though and told the front desk my name just in case. Not that they paid any attention. I hate “exploding” in shared public restrooms but I had no choice. I hate that BG and Mr. MLACS are in the parking lot with a bunch of low-lifes. I worry that we’ll be hit by a drunk driver on our way home and it will be all my fault for this useless trip to the ER. But I am grateful to be better off than some of these poor sick folks.

XOXO,

MLACS

 

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