12 Weeks! My Life As A Milk Cow

Can you believe she’s 12 weeks old?! Geeeez, this precious time has flown by.

Update on the Boobs:

I did receive my shipment of Domperidone from New Zealand! My milk is now meeting my baby’s needs. She is still a super tall, skinny kid *but* she now poops daily or every other day and I can hear her “gulp, gulp gulp” when she nurses. She’s in the 95th percentile for height and the 10th percentile for weight, but now there’s no question that that is genetics (not a low supply). I am not “carefree” or without nursing issues (my Raynaud’s still hurts like a mofo), but, I am relieved.

Mr. MLACS is currently at work in Canada. I miss him but in some ways it’s easier when he’s gone because I just work around the baby’s schedule. There’s a re-adjustment period when Mr. MLACS comes home and it frustrates me when my routine is even remotely f*cked with. Also, the baby takes a few days to warm up to him and as important as it is for him to care for her and bond with her, it’s easier/smoother if I just do it myself. When she fusses in his arms I have to try and bite my tongue and let him figure it out. And I mean, he doesn’t suck–he’s just not *me*.

I know it would be easier if he weren’t traveling for work and I’m not going to lie–I resent that he’s gone and then comes home and f* ks up our routine. On the other hand, Mr. MLACS works HARD and provides the means to our comfortable life. He is the reason I’m able to fulfill my desire to be a SAHM–in fact he encourages me and is happy and proud of how I care for our family. He is an amazing partner and does everything he can to make my life easier, both while he’s away and when he’s home. And he allows me to indulge in my newest obsession…

Shopping on amazon.com with amazon prime. Seriously, I’ve spent over $200 this week on baby clothes/toys/etc. I have expensive taste but I do try to get stuff on sale (Hatley, Tea Collection, Finn + Emma, Burts Bees, etc) We also use Honest disposable diapers (I looove their fun prints!) I think Mr. MLACS encourages me to shop for several reasons:

1. It makes me happy & keeps me occupied during mundane times of day when lil one is asleep on my lap (like now).

2. He loves the stuff I buy–he gets excited about her outfits too!

3. He appreciates quality, so he doesn’t mind spending more $ to buy what works best for us. Hatley clothes fit her best b/c they are made for tall, skinny kids.

4. He gets that I waited until I was 35 to become a Mom, and that it means a lot to me to be able to buy her what I think is best–without worrying about how economical it is.

So yeah, I shop A LOT now. Online.

Of course, I also make frequent trips to Target. Did I tell you about the time that I was in *the furthest corner of the store* like 10 miles from the exit and my kid woke up and started SCREAMING bloody murder, so I raced to the exit as passers by either looked at me with pity or contempt, and then I got to the car and realized I had unwittingly stolen a baby blanket in my *state of emergency*. Yeah…that happened. And no, I didn’t go back in and pay for it. I’m a criminal. #momburglar

Ok, bullet points or this will ramble on for-ev-er:

● I haven’t ever left my kid. Ever. Not even with her Daddy. That’s on me. But next time he comes home I’d like to go to the gym at least a couple times to take classes.

● Mr. MLACS and I took the baby in her stroller to the driving range to hit some golf balls last time he was home. We got some strange looks.

● I have had some social anxiety. I want to see friends and normally I would get a group together. But the thought freaks me out. So I’ve been trying to see people one-on-one and get out more, but in small doses. My therapist approves.

● We have family drama on both sides. It sucks. I worry (anxiety) what would happen if we orphaned our kid. Because they are ALL assh*les. We need to make a living will. If you can’t tell, I’m freaked out about dying. Like in a car wreck or something random that I have no control over. PPA, much? Anyone else?

That’s about all I have time for, and good grief I’ve probably bored you with this random crap! But, eh, this is my life in a nutshell.

Well, this and laundry and *snuggles* ❤



13 thoughts on “12 Weeks! My Life As A Milk Cow

  1. I am beyond delighted that you are now producing enough milk!! I know how much this means to you, and so I am so happy that everything is working out! Also, the will thing us crazy weird and hard to do. Our problem is that we have one, but since our bil/sil hurt us so much we have decided to change our child’s guardian should we die and the anxiety of that decision is really weighing on us. Wishing you the best as you make all the decisions that come along with a will.

      • I second that – we want someone who get’s it, and get’s that life isn’t perfect and is compassionate and supportive and loving. And now for us, the key decision maker is that they have to understand and respect open adoption – if they cannot do that (which clearly our BIL/SIL do not) then we will not be entrusting our child with them.

  2. So happy that BFing has improved, yay! And cheers for sticking with it through all of the issues. I’m right there with you on the PPA front. Always imagining some horrible tragedy striking hubby, me, and our little guy. Ugh!

  3. Oh it’s nice to see your updates. So glad that the milk supply has come in. And looks like you’re doing a great job taking care of little miss. I hate family drama…. I feel for you. I hope you figure out your living will soon. You still crack me up with how you write. 🙂

  4. I wasn’t bored at all!! And oh how I have missed you but I think of you often!!! I am so glad your milk supply is better!! That must be one serious miracle drug!!! Love ya girl! Xo

  5. I could have written part of this post myself. As you know my husband travels for work too. I feel the same way. I’m happy when he comes back but it doesn’t take long for me to resent him because he doesn’t know half of what is going on in our home. I feel like we are constantly getting to know each other again. It’s not his fault but I can’t help it. I also resent him for being gone and having to do everything myself. I manage fine (in fact sometimes I think things run better on my own) but like I say to him often “I wanted a family, not just a baby”. The family doesn’t feel complete without him.

    As for your LO warming up to him, it will get better. At first my daughter would SCREAM when he would hold her. It would take 3-4 days before she would be comfortable with him. I couldn’t even leave her alone with him because she would cry the whole time I was gone. But now that she is older, she knows he’s “that special guy” and there is no issue. She loves him. Most times she actually prefers him than me. Also a trick that a nurse gave me that seemed to have worked was to put a T-shirt of him in her crib (safely tucked of course) and get her used to his scent when he was gone. Now that she is older, I show her pictures and videos of daddy when he’s gone. It seems to do the trick.

    Oh and let me not even start on my Amazon addiction!!!! I love online shopping!

    You’re doing a great job, mama!

    • Lol! Viva la amazon.com! Thanks for sharing & for the encouragement. It is so tricky trying to keep everything consistent when daddy is here & when he’s away. Mr. MLACS’s job on his project is *supposed* to finish in September. Of course, as per usual, that date has been pushed back and he’s saying they’ll want him until December. I do NOT want to move in the middle of winter. But the company provides packers/movers so that’s not the biggest deal. The biggest deal is–his schedule is such that he misses ALL the f*ing holidays. I told him that is NOT an option–if they want him to stay on this project then he is to be be on the schedule that brings him home for Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Tell your bosses your wife has threatened to divorce you! XOXO

  6. I am so thrilled for you both! Even if he has to warm up. I am also glad you guys have a good routine and that your milk has come in after all you’ve done!!!! Family drama is just part of life but it sucks that you have it on both sides. Still can’t believe she’s here. Seem like just yesterday you were even debating on using that last dose of Mr’s…

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