Was 1:57pm CST on March 18, 2015.
The moment Dr. Angel placed my daughter on my chest as she was born.
I’ve had maybe 6 hours of sleep in the last 72hrs, but I’m still unbelievably content. When the nurses tell me to “get my rest”, I smile and nod. But I can’t help but stare at her–every inch of her is perfection…just…WOW…she is a miracle unlike any other.
And after I’ve waited 35 years and crossed oceans of pain (spiritually and physically) in my quest to find my baby…I don’t want to spend a single moment away from her–I’ve felt frustration every time they’ve taken her from our room to do “assessments”.
We’re finally being released to go home. Can you believe it?!
I GET TO KEEP HER!!!
Goddammit that makes me bawl–I have a “take home baby”.
I weep with joy for her being. I weep with sadness for my angels.
And I weep for all my mother friends who are still waiting to meet their children. YOU ARE MOTHERS. We are all mothers, no matter where we are at in our journeys. To you I say (as so many of our IF/RPL sisters have said before me)…
DON’T GIVE UP.
It’s so worth it–Every ounce of grief and disappointment. Every sad goodbye. Every needle stick. Every pee stick. Every tear shed in a public restroom/car ride/office/etc. Every fertile “friend” lost. Every procedure. Every page of adoption paperwork. Every home study. Every egg/sperm/embryo donor search. Every failed FET. Every stupid comment/pregnancy announcement/bump photo/etc. endured IRL and on social media. Every fight and/or breakdown you’ve had with your husband/partner….
IT’S ALL WORTH IT.
I have more to share with you, but right now I have to tend to my daughter.