This is just a note to say that I’m sitting here bawling because I feel like a miserable failure. A horrible mother.
First off, my puppy has been sick and having diarrhea and not drinking enough water. It would seem “they” changed the formula/packaging of his food and he stopped eating it and started barfing it up. So I switched to Blue Buffalo puppy formula, but it appears that:
1. I didn’t do it gradually enough
2. There’s too much protein & fat in it and he doesn’t tolerate it
So my *genius* ass started cooking him a combo of ground turkey + rice + pumpkin. He loves it and it really helped with the diarrhea. But then he had diarrhea this morning. So I looked up pumpkin to see if I might be feeding him too much…according to Ceasar Milan (dog whisperer) *too much vitamin A (in pumpkin) is toxic to dogs* and they shouldn’t be fed more than 2 tablespoons. F*cking awesome. I’ve been feeding him more than a cup a day for the past 5 days. When I read that pumpkin is good for diarrhea I should’ve looked at recommended amounts, but I didn’t even consider that too much could be a problem. He’s ok and it’s really more of a problem long-term or if he had OD’d on a bottle of vitamin A. But still, I’m so disappointed in myself.
My house is a mess. It’s dirty. Dishes full on both sides of the sink. Clean dishes just sitting in the dishwasher. Hairballs of my hair and pet hair all over the house. Dirty bathrooms–our master bath shower needs a once-over. Dirty bed sheets. Unfolded laundry. Dirty laundry. Floors need vacuming & mopping. My kitchen table is covered in mail and random things.
I’m a *housewife*. WTF is wrong with me that I can’t just accomplish these things? I don’t like cleaning but I HATE a dirty and disorganized house. At what point did I give up?
What do I do all day?
Well lately, look for a house–we are supposed to move at the end of this month *God willing* into a nice rental home with a fenced back yard for the pup. Like finding a needle in a haystack.
The pup gets A LOT of my attention. Playing with him (entertaining him). Keeping him out of things and places he doesn’t belong. Taking him out to potty (constantly) and for walks and play dates and appointments, etc. And when he’s sick with diarrhea I wake up with him every 2 hours in the night (side note: I got to see the lunar eclipse last night).
I’ll have one good day where I get errands done and *some* housework, and then other days I’m just exhausted and all I do is eat & sleep & look after the pets.
Mr. MLACS being gone 16 days and home 12 days is really taking a toll on me. It would help if he was here, even if just to take 1/2 of the puppy responsibility. I feel like a *single mom*. And people keep saying “Wait til the baby comes!” Thanks for that. Because I don’t feel inadequate or anxious enough.
Now I have to pack and move at the end of the month. Mr. MLACS won’t be home during the move so it will just be me supervising the movers. He usually does that.
Also, Mr. MLACS gets home late tomorrow night and he’s been *sick* with a virus and will need to rest. I have SO MANY plans while he is home–important stuff. I was counting on him to take the pup off my hands and help me pack. Will he be up to it? WILL HE GET ME SICK?! I’m already drowning & if I get sick…God forbid.
So yeah. I sat on the couch and had a good cry. Because I suck.
Thanks for reading.