#Fail

This is just a note to say that I’m sitting here bawling because I feel like a miserable failure. A horrible mother.

First off, my puppy has been sick and having diarrhea and not drinking enough water. It would seem “they” changed the formula/packaging of his food and he stopped eating it and started barfing it up. So I switched to Blue Buffalo puppy formula, but it appears that:

1. I didn’t do it gradually enough

2. There’s too much protein & fat in it and he doesn’t tolerate it

So my *genius* ass started cooking him a combo of ground turkey + rice + pumpkin. He loves it and it really helped with the diarrhea. But then he had diarrhea this morning. So I looked up pumpkin to see if I might be feeding him too much…according to Ceasar Milan (dog whisperer) *too much vitamin A (in pumpkin) is toxic to dogs* and they shouldn’t be fed more than 2 tablespoons. F*cking awesome. I’ve been feeding him more than a cup a day for the past 5 days. When I read that pumpkin is good for diarrhea I should’ve looked at recommended amounts, but I didn’t even consider that too much could be a problem. He’s ok and it’s really more of a problem long-term or if he had OD’d on a bottle of vitamin A. But still, I’m so disappointed in myself.

And then…

My house is a mess. It’s dirty. Dishes full on both sides of the sink. Clean dishes just sitting in the dishwasher. Hairballs of my hair and pet hair all over the house. Dirty bathrooms–our master bath shower needs a once-over. Dirty bed sheets. Unfolded laundry. Dirty laundry. Floors need vacuming & mopping. My kitchen table is covered in mail and random things.

I’m a *housewife*. WTF is wrong with me that I can’t just accomplish these things? I don’t like cleaning but I HATE a dirty and disorganized house. At what point did I give up?

What do I do all day?

Well lately, look for a house–we are supposed to move at the end of this month *God willing* into a nice rental home with a fenced back yard for the pup. Like finding a needle in a haystack.

The pup gets A LOT of my attention. Playing with him (entertaining him). Keeping him out of things and places he doesn’t belong. Taking him out to potty (constantly) and for walks and play dates and appointments, etc. And when he’s sick with diarrhea I wake up with him every 2 hours in the night (side note: I got to see the lunar eclipse last night).

I’ll have one good day where I get errands done and *some* housework, and then other days I’m just exhausted and all I do is eat & sleep & look after the pets.

Mr. MLACS being gone 16 days and home 12 days is really taking a toll on me. It would help if he was here, even if just to take 1/2 of the puppy responsibility. I feel like a *single mom*. And people keep saying “Wait til the baby comes!” Thanks for that. Because I don’t feel inadequate or anxious enough.

Now I have to pack and move at the end of the month. Mr. MLACS won’t be home during the move so it will just be me supervising the movers. He usually does that.

Also, Mr. MLACS gets home late tomorrow night and he’s been *sick* with a virus and will need to rest. I have SO MANY plans while he is home–important stuff. I was counting on him to take the pup off my hands and help me pack. Will he be up to it? WILL HE GET ME SICK?! I’m already drowning & if I get sick…God forbid.

So yeah. I sat on the couch and had a good cry. Because I suck.

Thanks for reading.

XOXO,

MLACS

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26 thoughts on “#Fail

  1. Firstly, give yourself a huge break re: the pumpkin. It’s virtually impossible to consume too much Vit. A (or any fat sol. vitamin) through food sources. Supplements, yes, as you pointed out but food no. At worst, the roughage might have got things going again. Also, it takes a long time to read your pup. And they’re exhausting when you’re not pregnant. I totally understand why you want the Mr. to take him off your hands a bit.

    As far as the cleaning, since you’re in flux I wouldn’t worry about it. You’re growing a human being. Ain’t no one got time for housework. πŸ™‚ Seriously, you’re being to hard on yourself. I suggest rest first, pup second, and supervising move third. You can always pack the mess up and deal with it in next house. The baby and dog need you now.

    Hang in there! You’re doing great.

  2. Aw, take heart, sweet mama—-it just ain’t easy, dealing with all that, although you are, generally, a Superwoman, it’s just so much. I’m amazed by all you do manage to do, being pregnant and all. Big hug! xo!

    • Thanks but you cannot be serious–you’re doing the housewife thing correctly, out there shopping for healthy food and cooking nutritious meals every day, and properly nesting. I have no baby plans, no registry–no nursery, no name picked out. And I’ve been eating out 2 out of 3 meals since morning sickness set in–I’m not even sick like that anymore. It’s just a bad, self-indulgent habit. This is my confession. ❀ XOXO

  3. I echo Elizabeth’s thoughts about the pup and cutting yourself some slack, MLACS. Some movers will pack if you arrange for that and pay a little extra. Is that (or your sister/friends?) an option for help? I’d come over but it’s a hell of a drive and as you know I’m kind of occupied this coming weekend. I really would come help if I could, I hope you know that. Instead, I’m being a bossy friend and ordering you to be a little kinder and gentler with you. You are doing and carrying and juggling so much. Warm hugs and a shoulder if there are more tears.

    As an aside, if it’s any consolation, I fed my rescue boxer beef (cooked with rice and apples or other roughage) for *years* before one vet finally said her GI issues were likely a result of a beef allergy. He was right. I sobbed for weeks over the hardships I had put her through. You are a good doggy mom. Mistakes are part of our job description, remember?

  4. You are doing a fabulous job momma! Don’t beat yourself up too much. Puppies are hard work, pregnant or not, houses always have chores, pregnant or not. You are amazing and doing the very best you can! I hope the DH is 10000% better by the time he returns so that you two can enjoy the time you have together. You’ve got this, you’re a rock star!

  5. I echo everyone else. Don’t be hard on yourself! My housework is nowhere near where I like it to be either. You’re pregnant, you’re tired, you’ve got a lot on your plate. The housework can wait! Hope your hubby and pup are feeling much better! XO.

  6. OMG, I just got a (now 12) week old German Shepherd and I’m exhausted. Holy cow, puppies are so much work!!! We even have a fenced backyard, but ours is eating her poop in addition to other animals, so we have to be constantly vigilant. She’s chewing on anything that’s in range and remotely interesting–shoes, cords, paper towels, everything. We have an older GSD and all they do is play with each other. And by play, I mean wrestle with each other within 6 inches of wherever we’re sitting. We have grand plans for walks on leash, puppy play dates, but they fall by the way side. And we’re not even pregnant–I can’t imagine how you do it. I think we’re going to invest in a Roomba to deal with all.the.hair!

    We’re feeding our pup Blue Buffalo puppy (large breed) and she’s doing OK, but she’s been on that since day 1. Dogs can have such sensitive stomachs. Don’t beat yourself. Your pup is a cutie and you sound like you’re doing well on your own with a brand new pup.

    • Oh your pup is SO cuuuute! But yeah, they are SO much work! I just bought some Nutri Source lamb & rice, since the vet said lamb is usually well-tolerated. I mixed just a bit in with his chicken and rice for dinner, and I’m hoping to get a full nights sleep with no emergency bathroom breaks for diarrhea–here’s hoping!
      Thanks so much for sharing & offering encouragement! XOXO

  7. You do not suck hon. Take a few deep breaths and tackle what you can and the rest will happen eventually. Please try to not be so hard on yourself. It’s hard to get stuff done when you’re pregnant! Sending you strength and energy and a big virtual hug. Hope your puppy feels better soon! I would not have known that about the pumpkin either, my vet tells me to give my kitties it whenever they need a little extra fiber. I didn’t realize it would be so bad for dogs! Hope Mr. MLACS feels better soon so he can help you out and that you stay healthy! Hugs hon!

  8. You’re being way too hard on yourself. I almost laughed when you were talking about your messy house. We live in a two bedroom apartment and if you saw it with boxes of stuff still not unpacked and junk everywhere, I know you would laugh. I’m sorry that your dog is sick. I wouldn’t worry about it too much as others have said. So, you’re having a rough patch. It’s okay. We all do. You’re certainly not alone. I’m sorry that your husband is sick. I know that things will get done and you can get through all of this – one day at a time. Be kind to yourself and remember the good things that you’re working toward. Hugs to you!

  9. ehhh! Don’t beat yourself up πŸ™‚ Just this week I restarted the dryer for the third time to “flufflin’ them up” because they sat in there too long and I even had to rewash some clothes in the washer because I failed to put them in the shower before they started to “smell.” It happens! You of all people need a little slack because you are making another HUMAN inside of you! Eventually you will settle in with a new routine but just like having a baby, having a puppy takes adjustment periods too. You will get there! HUGS! XOXOXO

  10. Ooooh you poor thing!! Puppies are totally adorable but so much damn work. I don’t miss that part! Hang in there, it’ll get easier very soon! And stay away from that Mr. MLACS of yours or wear an Ebola mask when he’s around πŸ˜‰

  11. I’m with Elizabeth. Don’t worry about the pumpkin. I have a 15 yr old Shih tzu and I give him pumpkin everyday, as reco’d by our vet. He is a beautiful, fabulous creature of canine sensuality (his words, not mine) who is the best and requires pumpkin. Your pup will be a-okay! Food sources of vit a for short time will be of no consequence.

    Most important is raking care of you. Grow Bebe and let housework wax and wane. Dust bunnies and mysterious gunk will always find their way onto your sink handles and floors. But babies come rarely. Enjoy this time because you’ve earned it πŸ™‚

    • It does ease my mind that your pup eats pumpkin with no ill effects! I bought some lamb + rice kibble and I’m slowly adding it into his rice + ground chicken. So far, no diarrhea! He is much better πŸ™‚ And thanks for the encouragement! I am *really* about to tackle the dishes…only thing holding me back is the pup is asleep with his head in my lap ❀ XOXO

  12. “Wait til the baby comes” is such a helpful comment, isn’t it? Between already being exhausted and terrified something might go wrong after all… I often think that, however hard it can be, it will still be so much better than leaving the hospital without your baby (or babies) – but usually I just smile and don’t say anything.
    Also, at least for me, pregnancy is surprisingly exhausting physically, and emotionally too (less surprising, that one) – no wonder the house is a mess. Hang in there.

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