Dude…I’m 14 weeks today…it feels totally surreal…like, I think I’m in shock…
And Koa is growing up too fast…it was just 4 weeks ago that I cradled him like a baby…now he’s hard to lift and constantly trying to hump my leg…
I marvel that things can change so quickly *for the better*. It never surprises me when life takes a nosedive. But I wasn’t prepared for life to take flight–a wise friend matter-of-factly told me “You are to used to being in *survival mode* and you don’t know how to cruise at altitude”.
He NAILED it.
I’m too used to struggling, and honestly I have a sort of “warrior spirit” that thrives on rising to the occasion…but now all of a sudden…
Everything is OK.
I’m not broke. I’m not sick. I’m not fighting breast cancer (my Mom’s & my Grandmother’s), not burying loved ones, not sucking it up at a job where I’m overworked + underpaid, not fighting with my husband…not lamenting my miscarriages and infertility EVERY day, ALL day…
And this is a *brave new world* for me–one where I am stable and crossing the threshold into the 2nd trimester.
Holy balls. Is this really MY life?!
Or a dream?
If it’s a dream then don’t wake me up.
This post is short ‘n sweet ‘n celebratory (my FIRST celebratory post, eek!) But don’t worry, I haven’t gone ‘soft’ on you. Promise.
**warning: bump pic below**