Thank you, God! For letting me know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I HAVE ovulated! The pain began circa 2pm–Hallelujah! I’m relieved.
Thank you ladies for responding to my plea–I have never felt so vulnerable as I did today. And you ladies (even some of you I haven’t met) came through for me–that’s just priceless–but I wish I could reach out and give each of you $1,000,000 for the comfort you provided when I needed it most. If you were here (and if my ovaries weren’t killing me) I would throw my arms around you and bear hug you so tight that you’d almost lose consciousness.
I’m going back to Dr. Diet tomorrow for an US to confirm ovulation. Nurse Cutie said Dr. Diet will be there so I can ask him my questions.
I went to the daycare after I left the Dr.’s office (my sister & grandma run it from our family home) and I held a baby, played with him, and fed him lunch (he is 8 months old) This calmed me and I can’t explain why.
I went to lunch by myself and ate spicy Thai soup (random fact: I love Thai, in fact I love most all ethnic food more than traditional American–but I do also love a good all-american steak). Then I went and bought some organic dark chocolate (satisfied with myself that I passed up gluten-free Friday at the cupcake bakery and went for the slightly healthier dark chocolate). Now I’m home and trying to be calm and positive–whenever thoughts of “if this doesn’t work…” creep up, I push them back and don’t allow myself to go there.
My husband has been so kind and attentive today, even across the miles. That helps too. I cried to him earlier–sobbed incoherently–that I don’t want to do this again (heavily medicated IUI, with frozen sperm, by myself). I know he felt bad, and I feel a bit guilty for that. He is doing his best to calm and comfort me as well. Come to find out, he even called Nurse Cutie because he was worried about me and the cycle. She told him it looks great and answered all his questions–I’m impressed he took the initiative. I love him SO much. SO MUCH.
I’m chillin’ with my heating pad. I feel much better and I can’t say why–maybe the progesterone is starting to balance out my Estrogen? Maybe it’s all your warm thoughts and prayers. How come I am so much crazier than the rest of you who are on similar doses of stims? A select few of you have taken double my dose–I’m afraid I would need to be locked in a padded room. Is this really how babies are made???