Wow I Think This Sh*t Actually Works!

Because I started taking a whole buncha new supplements on Wednesday evening. And woke up yesterday (Thursday) on CD6 with A LOT of cervical mucus and was like “Whoa, it’s too early for EWCM!” And my colitis was buggin’ me so I decided that I should look up all my new supplements and see what their potential side effects were, because I overzealously just went and bought all the sh*t that supposedly makes you fertile without even googling half of it first (I have a PhD in google, so this shows you how desperate I was feeling to just get pregnant already–I didn’t even fully research it!)

I had no idea that the reason L-Arginine is on the “infertility supplements list” is because it causes increased cervical mucus and supposedly primes the lining of the uterus. So–mystery solved! Then I looked up Chromium Picolinate (which I had taken on-and-off years ago upon initial diagnosis of PCOS) and found that it can really irritate your colon *AND* new studies show it causes DNA mutations in fruit flies! So I immediately tossed that out the window–not trying to screw up my DNA or irritate my inflammatory bowel disease.

And seriously, I have only taken 2 days worth of this stuff and “they” say that you’re supposed to take the supplements for 3 months to affect egg quality, so I didn’t expect any kind of instant results (and obviously I have no clue if my eggs have been affected) but it is sort of gratifying to get instant results from something, even if it’s just cervical mucus. Because losing weight and bettering your eggs takes FOR-EV-ER.

I’m starting to feel the “crazy” creep up on me from these FSH injections. I cry easily. I have an undercurrent of inexplicable anxiety. I’m quick to anger (road rage–I am a menace to society). And now I’m bloated. And spin class kicked my a** today–I felt like I was going to pass out going up a couple of “hills” (*these are fake hills, as you are on a stationary bike, but all the same it is hard as hell*) and the instructor kept saying “Feel your abs!” and I could not engage my lower abs because my ovaries are gettin’ kind of swollen, I guess. I was annoyed–usually I feel peachy keen after spin class, but today I left before the cool down, like “Deuces, I’m over it already”.

I’m skipping an upcoming bachelorette party (RSVP’d “No”) and I’m also resigned not to drink at all over Memorial Day weekend–like, FULLY committing to this health and wellness routine. It is really hard to put so much effort in after so many failed cycles. You just want to say “F*CK IT” and guzzle a bottle of wine to spite your infertility, like “Ha, take that! I don’t care!” But then you have a hangover, guilt, and still no baby (you DO care). So I’m trying to stay focused and keep my act together. For now. No promises that I won’t completely flip out if this cycle doesn’t work. It’s 50/50 at this point.

Have a great weekend! **I’m not going to speak a word about the holiday-that-shall-not-be-named**






40 thoughts on “Wow I Think This Sh*t Actually Works!

  1. Here’s a lucky and unlucky thing about me: I don’t like alcohol. I don’t like wine, most beers, liquors-none of it. I do like a margarita on occasion (but I don’t care if it’s alcoholic or not honestly) and I do like the lindemans lambics (so delicious) but that’s because they’re sweet. Here’s why this is lucky: I have NO problem giving up alcohol to TTC because I didn’t really drink it in the first place. Here’s why it’s unlucky: I think the ability to get drunk could come in handy every now and then on this awful trip.

    • I’d say it’s lucky, because self-medicating just leads to guilt and even lower self esteem (cuz it’s not easy to feel good about yourself when you’re “broken”, right?) So I think it’s a “gift” that you’re not inclined to drink much. But that just makes me want to feed you margaritas and get into shenanigans! I bet you’re a hoot when you’ve had a few 🙂 XOXO

      • Honestly, i’ve never been drunk-so I wouldn’t know! Not even tipsy! The most I’ve had to drink in a sitting is two margaritas. I can only do one beer at a time because the taste starts to wear off for me quickly, so I have to drink it in small sips to get through it. I’m a weirdo.

    • I personally wouldn’t take it because studies show it damages DNA, which is the LAST thing you want when you’re ttc, am I right?! Google “Does chromium picolinate cause damage to DNA?”

      • thanks girl! I was taking it with cinnamon to help with blood sugar levels but I think I will stop. It’s not like I was taking it daily anyway. The only vitamins I seem to take on a regular basis is the gummy prenatal ones because they taste oh so yummy 🙂 hehe

      • I was taking gummy prenatals too! But I encourage you to get better vitamins–like the Thorne Basic Prenatal (that I mentioned). If you took those + fish oil capsules you’d be doing well for yourself. Also, myo-inositol (or inositol) helps to regulate blood sugar & helps egg quality so I think it’s a good alternative to chromium. IMHO–I’m not a doctor! XOXO

  2. My heart always skipped a beat whenever I would get EWCM (I maybe got it 3 times in 3 years, so it was rare) that is awesome your body is responding so well so quickly! Your girlfriends must be sad you’re having to skip the bachelorette party- I am sure it wont be nearly as fun without you there but I think if sacrificing means it will bring you closer to baby, it will sooo be worth it. 🙂

  3. Crazy supplements! I’ve totally committed one day to taking something (meaning I invested in purchasing it first) only to find out the next day or a couple of days later that its cons outweigh its pros and ditching it from The Regimen. You’d think we’d do the research first, but no…. The desperation gets the better of us, I guess. Long way to saying “I can relate”!

    I’m so fiercely hopeful for you this cycle. And more importantly, I’m so glad you’re feeling more yourself again lately (aside from the nasty side effects of one or two of the new additions to The Regimen). Good luck!

    • Thanks luv! I do feel so much better–but no lie–the gonal-f is workin’ on my nerves. But it’s manageable. I’m going to eat some pasta and let the carbs mellow me out (and then possibly do cardio because I feel bad for eating carbs so late *sigh*) XOXO

    • In addition to your good feeling, TWO people have recently told me they had dreamt I had a baby–one of them was my Acupunture/Doula friend (she’s probly clairvoyant, right?) And I’m like “Well f*ck I hope that means it’s happening SOON and not sometime in the distant future!” Plus, I now have my little heart set on an Aquarius. XOXO

  4. Glad you’re seeing great results already with the L-Arginine! That’s how I felt when I had so much EWCM after just starting EPO! It’s so gratifying to actually see results! That’s scary about the Chromium Picolinate though! I have no idea what it’s good for, but the side effects don’t sound worth it! Glad you stopped taking it! As for the bachelorette party and not drinking, I hear you. I did the same thing a few months ago for a friend of mine. I went to the shower and the wedding, but skipped the drunken girl party. The hangover and guilt the next day, never seems worth it. Praying all your sacrifices and all your hard work and extra supplements WILL be worth it! This just has to be it!!!

    • Hey lady–sounds like we’re on the same page. Just FYI, the chromium picolinate is supposed to help regulate blood sugar (which hyperinsulimia is an issue for ladies with PCOS) and I just saw it on the shelf and was like “Sure lets throw this in the cart–it’s cheap–the more the merrier!” Impulse buy. But it’s totally not right for me. XOXO

      • Oh, good to know! Some of the other ladies on here have mentioned it too and I wasn’t sure what it was.

        Everything is crossed hon. ❤

  5. PhD in Google. Fucking love it! I feel you – last week was swollen ovaries and has a few cry-fests. However, I do plan on getting drunk off wine if this Beta is negative as it conveniently falls on a Friday.

  6. I love that you googled everything and do appreciate the information. I’m struggling with that line of “Giving in or fighting back”.. I’m appreciating you uplifting posts lately and I’m so glad you are feeling good. I do feel like a baby is coming soon for you! 🙂 🙂

  7. This: “You just want to say “F*CK IT” and guzzle a bottle of wine to spite your infertility, like “Ha, take that! I don’t care!” But then you have a hangover, guilt, and still no baby (you DO care).”

    I do this, only with food. I’ve never been into drinking, just because it makes me feel pretty sick, but I have had the food hangover guilt on so many occasions. And you know what, all it does is make me fat and still not pregnant. If I’m not going to have a baby, I should at least be a skinny b*tch! LOL 🙂

    Love ya girl, you always make me smile and laugh.

    • I feel like that too–“if I’m not pregnant then I should look fabulous to compensate”. But I’ll settle for being healthy, as it is just impossible for me to lose much weight while doing medicated cycles (as I stand here and lament myself in the mirror–worked out & ate good all week but my abdomen is swollen and I feel “dumpy”). Even if I don’t look perfect, at least I can say I tried. So, put the donut down and go for a walk girlfriend. Luv ya back.

  8. Good work hun. I’m a huge believer in research and getting to know the supplements we’re taking to get our bods into gear. When that shit works it’s like yeah! Results! When you read something dodgey it’s a good call to eliminate. Totally get the passing on the party. I know that feeling of “I DO care” so well. My hangovers were always messy and cringeworthy. Ultimately I quit the drink because the pain was too unbearable. Thinking of you girl xxx

  9. Thinking about you today. I know today is hard for all of us, but I can only imagine how hard it must be missing your angels and your mom at the same time. Just wanted to send you a hug. XO

    • That’s incredibly kind of you! I *was* fine but today has hit me like a ton of bricks–Mr. MLACS is gone as well and the hormones…I have had a lot of moments of despair today and I really blame the hormones–I don’t want to go through this again if this cycle fails. It’s disturbing how good I felt just days ago upon beginning the injectables vs. how panicky and unstable I feel now–it’s so unnatural. I will get through this, but I feel so emotionally toxic that I don’t know if a baby can manifest in sh*tstorm. Maybe? There’s nothing I can do besides force myself to take care of myself and keep going. XO

      • I’m sorry yesterday was so rough and with your hubby not there, I can only imagine how hard it must have been 😦

        Those hormones are brutal, but you will be yourself again soon and although it seems impossible, a baby can absolutely manifest out of it! We’ve seen it happen! Thinking about you a lot and constantly praying that this cycle is the one hon. Hugs!

  10. Hey girl, I hope I’m not over stepping here, but I just wanted to come by and tell you I’ve been thinking about you today and praying for you. I know today must be so incredibly hard with the loss of your mom and your babies and my heart goes out to you. I hope it doesn’t hurt you to read this, I just want you to know that I’m thinking of you. XOXO

  11. I thought EWCM was a myth? haha! Glad some of the things are working for you. Sorry others aren’t. I think about you often – proud of you for having the will power! That shit can be hard!!!! Good job!!!

  12. Thank you sweets! I go in for a follicle scan tomorrow and I’m praying that everything is progressing and that I have 4-5 mature follicles, so that we have a good shot. I will report! Thinking of you too! XO

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s