Monopoly (A Game of Chance)

I called Nurse Cutie Friday, as I had expected her to have obtained Mr. MLACS’s blood results (from the blood draw this past Tuesday) and Mr. MLACS was bugging me to get him booked to “make his deposit” before he departs on Wednesday. Nurse Cutie said she would call the lab and call me back–which she did–and she informed me that all of Mr. MLACS’s blood work was in (and negative) EXCEPT for his Syphilis test…WHICH MAY TAKE A COUPLE MORE DAYS…(business days) and this result is absolutely necessary to proceed with treatment (which I find odd since the other RE clinics never tested him before) and thus…


Are. You. F*cking. Kidding. Me.

And, Mr. MLACS (if you have been following along, he’s a pretty good guy…until there’s a money or work conflict) was a COMPLETE DICK about it. I didn’t even get mad AT him, but since I was upset his (stupid) knee-jerk response was to be defensive and say “THIS IS NOT MY FAULT!”

What he could’ve said:

1. “That sucks babe, lets hope that this cycle works out”

2. “Don’t get upset babe–it will probably work out”

3. “Hun I’m sorry you’re upset and I wish I could do something to change things”

4. “I know my job is making this difficult but I appreciate you rolling with the punches and I hope you know I’m doing my best”

5. ANYTHING. That f*cker could’ve said pretty much ANYTHING besides “This is not my fault”. Douche. Bag.

And then he proceeded to give ME the silent treatment, because I left the house in a huff. Um, does anybody see anything ass-backwards about this? I kind of wanted to kill him.

But I was the bigger person (not physically–he is twice my size–but I mean emotionally I am more mature) and I invited him to go see the new Spiderman movie. And so we did. And then we were fine (at peace with each other) except that the movie SUCKED and we were the oldest people in the movie theater by at least 10 years. I totally ditched my diet and had some peanut M&M’s.

Then I woke up early this morning with my period, and cramps. So last night’s M&M’s are totally justified.

So today is CD1, and so I called Dr. Diet’s office to make a monitoring appointment for Monday. And I assume I’ll need to begin injections. But you know, all of this will be for NOTHING if Quest labs doesn’t get their sh*t together and provide us with Mr. MLACS’s Syphilis results, so that we can collect his sperm….


This is starting to feel like Monopoly. I’ve seen the infertility/Monopoly game analogy, and this is what it’s looking like for me…

Order Gonal-f, get order on-time and move forward 5 spaces.

AF is late and I wasted 3 FRER’s, move backwards 2 spaces.

Mr. MLACS’s blood results are not in….move all the way back to START???

I want to kick Quest labs in the shins. Hard. Like they fall on the ground and I just keep kicking Quest labs until somebody pulls me away and puts me in the back of a cop car. *Spits on Quest labs as they drag me away*

So, pray for me. Pray for my twisted soul–pray for Quest labs if they don’t give me my mf*ing results by the time I go in for this monitoring appointment on Monday.




32 thoughts on “Monopoly (A Game of Chance)

  1. I’m praying so hard those results come in on Monday! Please God. Please universe. Let this happen!

    P.s. The Monopoly analogy is just brilliant!

    • Thanks luv–I first saw a monopoly/infertility reference on another blog over a year ago (wish I could remember who it was–someone on blogger). But yeah, that’s what it feels like right now–like I’m gonna go to jail and lose my turn! I freakin’ hope not. XOXO

      • I really freakin’ hope not either! Hugs hon. I’ll be thinking about you tomorrow and praying you get that test result in!

  2. Ugh. If it’s not one thing it’s another! Im sorry you’re having to face anther obstacle to even have a chance at trying. Praying those results come in quick!

  3. Oh my word! I would be a nervous wreck! I’m praying for you and your hubby! I’m praying the results come in on time and everything works out perfectly! YIKES!!

    “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you 1 Peter 5:7

  4. Can’t ANYTHING be easy?! I’m hoping for the best. We’re basically synced up cycle wise but i have no idea if I’ll ovulate this cycle or do any treatment, so we’ll see. I hope something works out for you!

  5. Oh good grief. What a crock. Our clinic went ahead with my partner’s sample to freeze even though some of our infectious disease results from this last round of testing weren’t in yet (though in our case we had those same infectious disease screens done less than a year ago for our last failed IVF), but that was with our old clinic. New clinic said the results are required before they use the swimmers but made an exception for my guy to deposit them. Maybe you can negotiate this in light of Mr. MLAC’s work commitments? Maybe try the Dr. instead of the nurse if need be?

    I’m praying for the stupid Quest lab who deserves a throat punch (I wouldn’t stop at shin kicks in this case!) to get their crap together in the meantime. Good luck at Monday’s monitoring!

    • THIS gives me real HOPE because I will see the RE on Monday for my scan and I WILL BEG him to let me bank the sperm. Cuz ain’t nobody got time for Quest labs bullsh*t–and I like how you fight dirty with the throat punch. XOXO

      • Great idea. They have statutory obligations or exposure to risk if they don’t follow the recommended guidelines re: testing and while I haven’t reviewed the statutes personally I would bet money that the harm they attempt to prevent is USE, not collection, of untested products of conception. All of this to say I think it’s awesome you’re seeing the RE tomorrow and can reason with him about this. Good luck!

  6. Oh hun, what a stupid lab, I’m sorry. That would make me so angry. It’s like, you’re paying all of this money, shouldn’t they be working overtime to get this stuff done? Bah, it sucks! Praying that the results come in on time. I agree with the comment above, shouldn’t they just allow you to give his sperm and use it or not once the results come back? Hugs!

  7. Hey! I commented on this the other day and I don’t know what the heck happened. I just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking about you and hope everything works out! Also, my husband didn’t have any of that before we were allowed to proceed. I think it’s crap.

  8. Quest…ick! Sending you love! I’m sorry your husband reacts the way he does. I know he doesn’t mean to be a jerk though. I hope things get better for you both.

  9. You might be onto something with the game. Mass create these and your IVF treatments could be paid for! On a serious note though, I’m sorry, roadblocks suck.

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