Nuts ‘N Bolts

I had a hard time sleeping last night–Mr. MLACS snoring next to me (God bless him) and Kitty was just all over me and way cuddlier than usual–he actually slept with me ALL night! Which got me thinking…my boobs are like Pam Anderson big right now…I’m hot at night (whereas I’m usually always freezing)…I’m exhausted down to my bones…Kitty only pays this much attention to me when…so, maybe…

NO. No I’m NOT PREGNANT. Tested this morning at 12dpo with a FRER and…no, not a bit.

But, I took comfort in the fact that I have $3,000 worth of drugs chillin’ in my fridge. 3 Gonal-f 900iu pens. I’m all “Take that ovaries!” POW!

Must say, it killed my buzz a little when I realized that–since I’m doing this cycle with Dr. Diet and not Dr. Angel–I will be expected to inject myself and I’m not too keen on that. Mr. MLACS won’t be around so he’s not an option. Kitty doesn’t have opposable thumbs. That leaves moi.

Now, I’m waiting for AF to start, so I can do my baseline ultrasound and begin this next cycle. Dr. Diet’s nurse, Nurse Cutie, has been a complete gem and informed me that Dr. Diet intends to start me at 225iu of Gonal. THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN’ BOUT. Show those ovaries we mean business.

Also, she informed me that my recent blood tests came back “normal”: I have a normal Karyotype (which means I am chromosomally normal), my Beta integrin test came back negative, as did some other test. The only revelation was that my testosterone is “high normal” and I already knew that as it is very apparent (to me) in how I look, act, and feel. I would say I am ‘androgynous’ in many ways.

I’m SO HAPPY that Mr. MLACS is home! Yay! I really missed that guy. Too bad I only have him until next Wednesday. Also too bad that my sex drive is…well lets say my “engine is not revved”. Mr. MLACS is not being pushy but I’m sure he’s disappointed. I will make an effort.

He had blood drawn yesterday to check for ‘communicable diseases’–I appreciate my doctor’s diligence because, sadly, many men who travel for work DO have extramarital sex. But Mr. MLACS wouldn’t. And if he did (he really won’t) he wouldn’t be irresponsible. He is really really smart. So, those results will be negative. And the next order of business is to collect his “spawn” before he leaves. **He actually told me that there are Ethiopian “cleaning ladies” where he stays but they double as prostitutes–who will only have anal sex because they are Muslim and will not be penetrated vaginally by non-Muslim men. Mr. MLACS says they call one guy ‘Barnacle Bill’ because he got some weird penile infection from one of these women as he did not use a condom. Mr. MLACS is a real ‘Boy Scout’ and wouldn’t lower himself to be unfaithful. And he sure as hell wouldn’t touch a sex slave from a third world country. He won’t even let them clean his room.**

That’s about all folks. I have told a couple of my high school buddies that I’ve recently reconnected with about our troubles getting (moreover staying) pregnant. I am hosting my first book club tomorrow and I’m the only childless one AND I have no job so I’m not sure what I’ll say when they ask “So what do you DO?” The truth would be “A LOT of doctors appointments, injections, and trying to stay sane and preoccupied during the TWW…Then…a lot of crying and self-soothing when sh*t doesn’t work out…rinse and repeat…” That’s my life in nutshell. Throw in some dinners and spin classes and that’s a pretty accurate representation.

Speaking of spin class, Mr. MLACS says that I’ve lost weight. I can’t tell. But I have been putting a lot of effort into working out and eating well. Except last night we BBQ’d and I made this AWESOME fruit dip and served it with strawberries (washed, stems on–easier for dipping). It’s SO EASY: 1 container cool whip+ an 8 oz package of cream cheese + 1 tsp vanilla extract + 1/2 cup powdered sugar. Mix it up, plop it in a bowl next to the strawberries, and watch the feeding frenzy unfold!






28 thoughts on “Nuts ‘N Bolts

    • Thanks chicky! I really didn’t expect it to be positive, given that I didn’t ovulate until 5+ days after Mr. MLACS left town–given that I haven’t conceived even when we dtd right before and AT ovulation, it was ‘magical thinking’ that this natural cycle might have worked. I am not above magical thinking. But figured it would be a BFN. I’m excited for you to get a new plan and some new drugs for your next cycle! XOXO

  1. Did you get some extra happy pills with your meds this month? Because if so, I DEMAND YOU SHARE! (just kidding). Glad to hear things are going well. Here’s to a fresh cycle (well I guess frozen for you… but u know what I mean). 😀

  2. Keep that hope alive! Your refrigerator is full of some badass weaponry. I’m sorry about the negative but feeling pumped for you for this cycle. That bit about the Ethiopian cleaning ladies freaked me out—woah! But I laughed out loud at “Barnacle Bill.” Ewwww…

    • I laughed too! Poor fool. Sexual slavery and prostitution are disturbing, but a very real part of our global economy–I’ve always been fascinated by “Sex Work”, as it’s so taboo in the U.S. (particularly in the Midwest). XOXO

      • Me too—I once worked for the Latino commission on AIDS, where a big portion of my clients was made up of transgender Latina sex workers in Queens. We once spent the entire evening into the wee hours with them, observing the culture and the job (well, not the whole job) and it was fascinating. Their number one complaint: need for higher wages and health insurance.

      • I had a lot of transgendered friends in Hawaii–there is actually a word for transgender in Hawaiian, “Mahu” (pronounced ma-who). Most of them earned their money for sex change surgery by hooking in China Town (downtown Honolulu). Life in “the rainbow state” was far more colorful. XO

  3. Awww, sorry for the bfn, but heck yeah on having those meds in the fridge! I love that you’re going to show your ovaries you mean BIDNESS! Yes, I said bidness on purpose because “business” just doesn’t quite do it justice. 😉 SO SHOW THEM YOU MEAN BIDNESS AND GET THAT BFP! Okay, that story about Barnacle Bill is just…ick. lol (I wouldn’t let those ladies clean my room either)

    Have fun at your book club! And that dip sounds ah-mazing! Love this time of year!

  4. I love your posts, they make me laugh. Well, not the sad parts, but hopefully you know what I mean. I’m very sorry to hear of the BFN, but happy your doc has a plan going forward. Sending good vibes your way!

  5. Good luck with everything this next cycle. I can’t wait to hear about your book club. I totally get what you are saying about not having a ‘job’ that we can really explain to anyone and not having kids. Hopefully you can redirect that conversation if needed. Thanks for the recipe too!

    • I could totally see you making this recipe! And you totally get the position I’m in with the “What do you DO?” issue. It will be ok–I think this is a nice group of ladies so I’m not freaked out. I’m pulling for you in your current cycle! Hate to lose you but love to watch you go. XOXO

  6. BFNs just never get better. There’s no soft or easy BFN. Even if you were expecting it.

    The whole prostitution thing just totally messed with my head!! I’m Muslim and how on earth do these women think that anal isn’t included in the sex before marriage thing? I feel sorry for them – that it’s their reality.

    Yay for having a fridge full of drugs! I find it easiest when we’re just cycling and getting on with it. If I had the money I’d keep doing it until BINGO we’ve won. But obviously can’t.

    • I have much respect for other religions besides my own (just so you know). In this case the women don’t want to have a child by a non-Muslim man, because their faith dictates that the child is born unto the religion of it’s father (and therefore having vaginal sex with a non-Muslim man is taboo). It is unfortunate that coming to Canada to become sex slaves is actually an improvement in these women’s lives.

      I’m excited for your cycle as well! I really reeeeeally hope everything goes smoothly for you!

  7. I don’t think giving myself the shots was ever easy, but you are strong and will be a pro at it in no time! I’m really hopeful for you this cycle!! I’m glad you have that strong bond and trust with your husband- that’s the best! I’ve made that fruit dip and it’s scrumptious! Have you ever tried making your fruit dip with strawberry cream cheese and instead of vanilla, add a little orange juice? I’ve tried both and I think they’re both really delicious!!

  8. Glad this cycle is a go hon. Sorry you have to inject yourself though! I only had to do it once when my hubby didn’t make it home from work on time and it was not fun! ☹ You’re my hero! EVERYTHING is crossed! Praying this is it!

    • Naw, YOU are MY hero. And speaking of which–I bought a buncha NOW brand Ubiquinol tonight, after reading your post about your supplements. That sh*t is expensive! But in the words of Mr. MLACS, “WHO CARES about $100 if it helps us have a baby?!” Thanks for sharing and always being supportive. XOXO

      • I know. I spend a fortune on supplements, but I figure it’s pretty cheap in the grand scheme of things. Did you check Amazon? I think I got it for the best price there. I’m always here. Always! ❤

      • Didn’t check Amazon, just walked into the local natural foods store (wanted to get started before AF–hoping it’ll help at least a little bit with this cycle). But if I need to order more then I would def check Amazon, thanks! 🙂

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