So, since I started this blog to talk about my thoughts and *feelings* I’m gonna go ahead and comment on how it feels to be one of the “unchosen” ones–inevitably everybody can’t win–and this is what it’s like to be an infertile blogger when most all of your IF and RPL sisters are “winning” and you’re “losing”. I know I’m not the only one struggling with this.
Not being pregnant when EVERYBODY else is pregnant (at least, almost all the bloggers I started following when I started this blog) is like losing a high-stakes game of musical chairs.
IT FEELS LIKE WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF CHAIRS.
With each new pregnancy announcement, my chest tightens and a knot forms in my throat–I feel as though the chair has been snatched out from under me.
“I may not make it to the next round”–this is a horrifying thought that smacks you in the face when you are an infertility blogger and every other blogger is pregnant–it is f*cking scary. You think “Maybe this really isn’t gonna happen for me”. It’s scarier than a bunch of pregnancy announcements on facespace….
Sh*t is getting REAL here, chairs are disappearing left and right.
Another analogy: A deserted island
It feels like all your friends are getting “rescued” off the island but you are stuck there…with “Wilson”…
And another analogy:
It’s like “Red Rover”–when you were the LAST person standing and everybody else had been “sent over”. You feel left out.
Yeah. That about covers it.