Drugs, Muffin Tops, TWW’s

Oh, hi there! Has it already been a week since IUI #4?!

I hardly noticed.

Now that is a damn lie. Because I have not been able to put this TWW out of my mind. Not for a nanosecond.

I generally feel better than I did when I wrote my last post, but I’ve had my moments of bitter tears. I think, perhaps, the worst of that ‘episode’ is behind me. And thank you kindly for offering your support and camaraderie–I really needed that. Like, I mean it.

I’m just super annoyed. I ooze Endometrin (progesterone supp) 24/7. I’m lethargic (thanks to the progesterone) and I’ve been struggling not to drink caffeine to combat my lethargy (I was drinking a lot of caffeine during my ‘break’). I’m freakin’ bloated and only a week ago I was the “skinniest” I’ve been in awhile (like, I could stretch and make my stomach look flat)–but now I’m ‘fluffy’ in my midsection and ‘puffy’ in the face due to the combo of progesterone and prednisone (ok and I cannot stop eating). And I’m preemptively pissed at the thought that this is pointless. So I’ve been trying to simmer down about that. I dunno why the side effects didn’t piss me off bother me the last few months, but now I’m really annoyed. Like a scorned woman who has been ‘played’ too many times.

Muffin Top Meme

I can’t even talk about symptoms. I have them. Duh. Because I took an HCG shot and then pumped a bunch of progesterone in my body to make myself “pretend pregnant”. So when people ask me “Do you think it worked?!” I’m like, how the hell would I know? I’ve felt pregnant during ALL of my 6 medicated cycles. And nada.

I’ve been trying not to let my family drama affect me, but it’s hard since I have to go to the house to pick up/drop off Grandma every day for her radiation treatment. Grandma has done well, but she’s reeeally tired now. But just 5 more treatments to go! We will both be relieved.

Mr. MLACS is flying home Thursday and will be in Thursday night! I’m stoked. I’m going to the city to have dinner with my good girlfriend at as tapas restaurant in a trendy part of town–I’m glad they have a ‘mocktail’ menu. Then I’ll pick Mr. MLACS up from the airport and we’ll stay in a hotel. Then, Friday we will wake up and spend the day in the city! I hope the weather is nice. And Friday night we’re going to dinner at the restaurant where he took me for our second date (it’s a fondue restaurant!) We cannot wait to see each other. And yes, he is sorry he was a jerk on the day of my IUI.

And eventually, this stupid TWW will end. And then I have no idea, because I haven’t seen the RE and I have no plans with Dr. Angel and Mr. MLACS has no more ‘spermcicles’. Totally renegade at this point. We will most likely skip April and then go full-tilt in May with the RE. That will suck, because April 12th is my due date for miscarriage #2, and April 20th is our wedding anniversary. Anyways…I wish you all sunshine and rainbows and unicorns! And all that happy sh*t.



41 thoughts on “Drugs, Muffin Tops, TWW’s

  1. I so hate the puffy feeling from the drugs. No wonder they used to give prednisone to patients in recovery from/ treatment for anorexia. That crap makes you eat like a wildebeest. Is that how you spell wildebeest?

    I’m so glad your Mr. is back soon. Have a fabulous time together! I’m keeping all kinds of stuffs and things crossed for this cycle, damn the odds and all that. *Hugs*

    • You made me laugh with wildebeest! I guess that’s correct because when I tried spelling it another way the spell check flagged it. So yeah, wildebeest. And see, the prednisone doesn’t make me inhale food–it’s the progesterone! I swear, because I’ve been on prednisone and actually it doesn’t affect my appetite. Or maybe it’s the combination that is really screwing with me? Pffft.
      Thank you for the vote of confidence! Of course I hope. If I didn’t hope then I wouldn’t put up with any of this nonsense. XOXO

  2. April break = bottle of wine for both special dates. ๐Ÿ™‚ gotta love HCG + progesterone. NOT. If I lived anywhere remotely close to you, I’d drink mocktails and bitch about insensitive husbands and horrible side effects with you.

    • See, I wish we all did live close together (but I guess you do have your support group, which is awesome). I’m dying to come to Canada but DH is like “it’s expensive and blah blah blah” and I was like “The contingency of you taking a job in Canada is that I would get to go to Canada!” I will, eventually, visit Canada. God willing, we will meet with bumps/babies. XO

      • Bumps and babies works for me! Our support group hasn’t met again. 3 are currently doing IVF this month and no one has tried to schedule anything. Hopefully soon….

  3. Ahhhh what a pain. Those drugs suck! I’m so sorry April brings about a due date. I hope you are able to take extra special care of yourself that day. And I hope your grandma’s last treatments go quickly. I can’t imagine how comforting your support is to her. It sucks that you have to deal with TTC drama on top of family drama. But it sounds like you have a wondering couple of days coming up. Enjoy it because you absolutely deserve it. ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Hopefully you are so busy having a fabulous time galavanting around town that you forget about the last week of waiting… Ok we all know you won’t forget, but here’s hoping it somewhat takes a backseat!

  5. I love that you are going to have some special time with your hubby – I hope the weather is nice for you. I’m so glad that he is sorry for being such a jerk to you the other day. This is hard on the men, too, but they have NO IDEA what we women go through or how MUCH having a baby means to us. I really hope you have some nice weather so that you can enjoy the city while you are there. And prayers for your BFP. Not too much longer to go until testing!! FX!

    • So true Mel–men are generally “dense” and have no concept of how difficult the process is for us physically/mentally/emotionally. If they had to do it we’d have to beg them to endure the drugs/dildocams/suppositories/etc. AND they would complain relentlessly and expect us to kiss their a** and thank them–oh and if we were ever mean to them they would never let us live it down.
      Anyhoo, thanks babe & hope you enjoy your weekend too (how’s the cat farm going?) XO

      • Amen, sister. You got all of this right! Ha ha – the cat farm! Well since Cocoa, aka Alexander, left, the other cats have seemed to leave too. Except for Garfield, he will always be around meowing for food. Alexander was a boy, so it isn’t like he was attracting the other cats. It is weird how they were all there at the house for several days and now they are not. Alexander was really the only one we hoped would stick around so we aren’t too disappointed. LOL! ESPECIALLY Sweet Pea!

  6. Even on some of the months where I wasn’t hopped up on meds, I still had myself convinced I was pregnant (even though there was no possible way!) ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m so glad you am the Mr. are doing better. I’m praying that this is your month and you don’t need an RE, your husband to stress anymore, or all of the other stupid stuff that comes with that! I’ll be thinking about you on the 12th.

    • Thank you lady–I’m thinking of you & ‘lil Cake as well. Of course the puppy would have to get sick when you’re already freaked about this cycle. But I think he’ll be ok & this cycle will work out for you! XO

  7. I’m sorry your 2WW is taking so long! I too HATE that fluffy feeling the progesterone gives me, could be because I can’t take a normal shit for weeks. Only 1 more week, you got this…..fingers crossed and prayers heading your way!!

    • My friend, may I strongly suggest (cherry flavored) milk-o-magnesia (MOM) for your pooping woes. As a person with bowel disease, I’ve tried e’rything and nothing works better than MOM. I take a swig & chase it with diet dr. pepper (or other soda) to get rid of aftertaste (cuz it coats your mouth). And thanks for the prayers! XO

      • LOL. Oh I’ve become well acquainted with it. Do you take it regularly when on progesterone?! I’ve been off the progesterone (from a failed cycle) for about a week now and still can’t poop normally.

      • See, once AF arrives I get regular again. But while on progesterone I find I feel better if I use the MOM every other day. And yeah boo, sorry about the recent disappointing cycle–hoping the next one does the trick for you! XO

  8. Just started PIO last night, so I am right behind you. So glad Mr. MLACS is coming home soon and you have some wonderful plans lined up! My exciting plans include letting my husband touch my books before the progesterone takes full control of my body. Your plans sound way better ๐Ÿ˜‰ love and hugs m’dear!

  9. I hate all all those side effects that mimic symptoms! It’s such a mind f*ck! I’m so happy though that your hubby is back soon and it sounds like you have an amazing visit planned. Sending you so many positive thoughts and prayers! Hoping so hard you get magical news in a week! Hugs!

  10. Your weekend with your hubby sounds Ah-may-zing!! I’m praying this cycle is the “one” and you don’t even need to be thinking about an RE in May ๐Ÿ™‚ God is a God of impossibles and that’s what I’m shooting for…Him doing the impossible for you ๐Ÿ™‚ hugs girl!! xo

  11. Funny that getting hopped up on fertility drugs makes you feel pregnant. Except that is also damn false. I was thinking the same thing during that stupid ass injection, that I was going to get white girl wasted if this did not work and also getting an enormous tattoo of my dogs to celebrate.
    Yay for Mr. MLACS coming home though! He better think fake pregger people are effin hot ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Ha! “White girl wasted”–well hell it’s spring break so party like it’s 1999…oh Lord that’s the year most of the spring breakers were born…FML I’m ancient! Well I’ve got my sights set on this cycle working for you so don’t rush off to the liquor store! XO

  12. Ugh right there with you on the puffiness and “pretend pregnant” feeling. That darn shot and the progesterone make me feel like I’m sorts of crazy during this tww. I have allll of my usual pregnancy symptoms and I’m just hoping it’s not all for nothing. Not to mention that if I could for one minute not go somewhere and be surrounded by babies and pregnant women, the lovely symptoms are sure to grab my attention and remind me how much longer I have until I can test.

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