Oh, hi there! Has it already been a week since IUI #4?!
I hardly noticed.
Now that is a damn lie. Because I have not been able to put this TWW out of my mind. Not for a nanosecond.
I generally feel better than I did when I wrote my last post, but I’ve had my moments of bitter tears. I think, perhaps, the worst of that ‘episode’ is behind me. And thank you kindly for offering your support and camaraderie–I really needed that. Like, I mean it.
I’m just super annoyed. I ooze Endometrin (progesterone supp) 24/7. I’m lethargic (thanks to the progesterone) and I’ve been struggling not to drink caffeine to combat my lethargy (I was drinking a lot of caffeine during my ‘break’). I’m freakin’ bloated and only a week ago I was the “skinniest” I’ve been in awhile (like, I could stretch and make my stomach look flat)–but now I’m ‘fluffy’ in my midsection and ‘puffy’ in the face due to the combo of progesterone and prednisone (ok and I cannot stop eating). And I’m preemptively pissed at the thought that this is pointless. So I’ve been trying to simmer down about that. I dunno why the side effects didn’t
piss me off bother me the last few months, but now I’m really annoyed. Like a scorned woman who has been ‘played’ too many times.
I can’t even talk about symptoms. I have them. Duh. Because I took an HCG shot and then pumped a bunch of progesterone in my body to make myself “pretend pregnant”. So when people ask me “Do you think it worked?!” I’m like, how the hell would I know? I’ve felt pregnant during ALL of my 6 medicated cycles. And nada.
I’ve been trying not to let my family drama affect me, but it’s hard since I have to go to the house to pick up/drop off Grandma every day for her radiation treatment. Grandma has done well, but she’s reeeally tired now. But just 5 more treatments to go! We will both be relieved.
Mr. MLACS is flying home Thursday and will be in Thursday night! I’m stoked. I’m going to the city to have dinner with my good girlfriend at as tapas restaurant in a trendy part of town–I’m glad they have a ‘mocktail’ menu. Then I’ll pick Mr. MLACS up from the airport and we’ll stay in a hotel. Then, Friday we will wake up and spend the day in the city! I hope the weather is nice. And Friday night we’re going to dinner at the restaurant where he took me for our second date (it’s a fondue restaurant!) We cannot wait to see each other. And yes, he is sorry he was a jerk on the day of my IUI.
And eventually, this stupid TWW will end. And then I have no idea, because I haven’t seen the RE and I have no plans with Dr. Angel and Mr. MLACS has no more ‘spermcicles’. Totally renegade at this point. We will most likely skip April and then go full-tilt in May with the RE. That will suck, because April 12th is my due date for miscarriage #2, and April 20th is our wedding anniversary. Anyways…I wish you all sunshine and rainbows and unicorns! And all that happy sh*t.