#@%=¡ Why?????

The universe overheard me bragging that I’m on a “break” and “blissfully unaware” of my cycle. So today, CD25, the day my husband got home after being away for three weeks…I got my f*ing period. I’m currently bawling in bed next to him as he sleeps, with a heating pad under my lower back and a barely adequate dose of muscle relaxers.
This sh*t is SO UNFAIR. Not because it’s ruining our ‘sexy time’, but because if I had stayed ‘on schedule’ then my cycle and his work schedule would have aligned in April and we would have the option to ttc naturally (without frozen sperm). Now that will never happen (without medical intervention to mediate my cycles). I find this bewildering, because we conceived twice naturally but NEVER in 6 medicated cycles, so I had this fantasy that maybe we would ttc organically and I’d finally get my long awaited 3rd pregnancy. NOPE.
Also, given that my cycles went wonky before when my thyroid went hypo, and given that I’m experiencing other symptoms (dry skin, blepharitis) that coincide with my hypothyroid…I’m thinking my thyroid is f*cked and I’m wondering who the hell is going to fix it? Not sure if this is doc Angel’s cup of tea–maybe the RE is the one to take this to. I need it fixed. NOW. And this is depressing because I feel like I’m living out the same nightmare as last year…when does it end? And really WTF is the root of all this? I want to know.
And so, my “break” is over. Now I have to worry about wtf is wrong with me–which doc can diagnose and treat it, and what it will take to fix it so ttc’ing is even possible in the near-ish future. Nature is a real b*tch. That is all.


11 thoughts on “#@%=¡ Why?????

  1. Oh man that SUCKS. But i wonder if it’s because that was your first natural cycle in 4 months and your body was just readjusting? Perhaps? Crossing fingers that that’s it!

    • Well, even after my miscarriages it didn’t do this–and I did have one natural cycle in October–the only time my period has acted like this was when my TSH was over 3.0, which it has been (probly still is). It wouldn’t be so obvious except for the week’s worth of spotting–I never do that. The worst thing about this is not being able to TTC naturally–frozen sperm is lame, even in mass quantities and Steph I’m SO sick of the medicated cycles! OMG! But obviously not trying to drop $15k+ on IVF…yet. XO

  2. I’m so sorry hun. I’m starting to wonder if I have a thyroid issue as well. I’m hoping to get a referral to an RE so I can hopefully get some answers. It sure sucks that this can’t happen naturally for us, but hopefully a professional will have some answers for both of us. Love ya girl!

  3. This all sucks ass. I effing hate it when the period starts just as the hubs gets home. First cause sexy time, second because my emotions are insane. That appt better be worth it. And I get being over medicated cycles. Gross lady. I wish I could buy you a drink.

  4. Oh hon! I am beyond angry and frustrated for you! This is such BS! I just don’t understand what the F is up with the universe right now. I don’t want to give you false hope, but I think the RE should be able to sort this out for you. One of my good friends was diagnosed with hypothyroid and her RE set her up with the right meds and she was pregnant a few months later and had her baby just a few months ago. I know you’re dreading going to the RE, but maybe Dr. Angel can sort out the right meds for you too? God, I really hops so. Sending you so many prayers this all get’s resolved soon.

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