I Can See The Horizon!

 

I’ve been wanting to update, but we moved all our stuff into a new unit (same property, identical unit–different building), and I have no cable or internet, and updating on my phone is practically impossible–so for those of you who may have been concerned after my last “FML” post–I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to update and thanks for caring 🙂

Monday: No good, very bad day which turned into a horrible night, when I wrote my last post (click here for post).

Tuesday: Wake up feeling defeated and ask Mr. MLACS if he intends for me to cancel is appointment to give his “specimen”. He looks defeated too, and said “No, but I can’t move forward this month unless Dr. Angel calls us back and we’re able to talk to him”. Fair enough. I called Dr. Angel’s office and got the ‘usual’ receptionist (I’ve spoken to a couple of others this week that I’m not used to and got mixed results–obviously Dr. Angel didn’t call me back so I didn’t get the result I had hoped for). I told the ‘usual’ receptionist that Mr. MLACS and I are having mixed feelings about going forward with IUI #3, and we really won’t be able to do it unless Dr. Angel can see us TODAY, since Mr. MLACS is leaving tomorrow. The receptionist *communicated (*key word) that Dr. Angel was doing a C-section and would not be available for her to speak with him about accommodating us until the early afternoon–I totally understood and trusted that the ‘usual’ receptionist would follow through and get our message to Dr. Angel. She returned my call late morning and offered that Dr. Angel could see us at 3:30 that afternoon–perfect! Because Mr. MLACS was scheduled to give his ‘specimen’ right up the street at 3pm, so I took this as a ‘sign’ that this cycle might work out. Mr. MLACS agrees to give his sample, and I agree that we will wait to make our decision about doing a January cycle until after we’ve spoken with the doc. I decide to take my gifted Bravelle with me, because I just can’t dose myself without the doc’s consent (though I was not above considering it).

Mr. MLACS walks into the clinic (where we’re collecting/freezing his ‘specimen’) with swagger. I get a kick out of him boldly walking up to the window and stating his business–no hunched shoulders or looking side-to-side to see who’s listening. A’ta boy! As I’m waiting for him to *ahem* finish, a couple of young mothers with small children walk into the clinic (which is an infertility clinic)–I was taken aback, and I totes understand what other bloggers mean when they lament how insensitive it is (not to mention annoying) for women to bring their (poorly behaved) children to an infertility clinic–I’ll put that on my “offenses not to commit in this lifetime” list. We then jaunt over to Dr. Angel’s office, not knowing what to expect—we were both apprehensive and full of emotion.

But, all that angst was for naught. Dr. Angel greeted us warmly. I didn’t even know where to begin, so I just told him “We didn’t expect IUI #2 to fail, and we weren’t prepared for it, and we want to know if you have any idea why, and then what you think we should do”. And he basically said he 100% believes we will have a baby. He doesn’t know why these IUI’s failed because they “Looked good” but that it’s totally normal and it doesn’t mean there’s something horribly wrong with us. We really, really needed to hear this from his mouth, because after 2 natural pregnancies followed by 4 failed medicated cycles (including 2 IUI’s with injectables), we were starting to feel panicked and insecure. He admitted he may not be aggressive enough with his treatment and we may want to consult with an RE that he (and everybody else in town) recommends. But then, I told him that I’m not asking for 6+ follicles, just 4 follicles…and I mentioned my interest in taking low-dose steroids with the idea in-mind that I have at least 2 elevated antibodies (ANA’s and NK cells) and the ANA’s in particular may be the issue and may respond to the steroids, PLUS they’ll only help my Ulcerative Colitis. And Dr. Angel offered to consult with him on our behalf, to see what–if anything–the RE would do differently. And Dr. Angel agreed to my request to begin 150iu Bravelle on CD5, so I got my shot in the office 🙂 Furthermore, the receptionist said our insurance has been paying on the scans and we didn’t need to plunk down any money to start the cycle–AMAZEBALLS!!! We left feeling relieved and stoked that we can actually afford this cycle without having to “rob Peter to pay Paul”.

Wednesday: Took Mr. MLACS to the airport in the city to catch his plane to work, and went to the old chiro/acu doc I used to work for and got treatment. It was great to see the doc (he is hilarious) and I know the treatment did me good. I raced back to town (2+ hour drive) to see Dr. Angel in the afternoon. I had wanted to dick around in the city, but my friends were all busy and I wasn’t about to tell Dr. Angel that I couldn’t make it to an appointment the second day out of the gate. Mission accomplished. 150iu Bravelle.

Thursday: Go to Dr. Angel’s office at 8:45am and get sent away for “30-45 min”. Get Starbuck’s (half-caf) and come back at 9:30…wait in the office for a bit and get sent away with “doc is still at the hospital and we’ll call you to come in once he’s done”. Cool, so I get called in somewhere around 2:30, and probly wait another 1/2 hour after I get there. But honestly, I don’t mind. Dr. Angel looks dog tired from delivering babies this week–poor guy. The ‘usual’ receptionist tells me the only time he can see me the next day is 11:45, which I agree to. 150iu Bravelle.

Friday: Wake up and make plans to work out with a friend at 10am. But then new receptionist calls me from Dr. Angel’s office and says “So the only time Dr. Angel can see you today is 10:30”, no explanation–but I don’t require one–I simply agree. I postpone my workout with my friend and tell the maintenance guy I will call him when I get back so he can service the washing machine. I show up at Dr. Angel’s office and ‘new’ receptionist says (contritely) “So your appointment was at 8:45” and I quickly respond “oh no it wasn’t, that was yesterday. Today I was told 11:45”, to which she responds “Well it says 8:45 here on the schedule”, and I say “Well if I had been told 8:45, then I would have been here. I was told 11:45 by ‘usual’ receptionist'”, to which ‘new’ receptionist replies “Well do you have an appointment card???” and I’m pissed….so I snap back “I DON’T NEED ONE. This is no less than my 30th appointment and I NEVER screw this up.” Like, wtf is your problem dimwit? Honestly, Dr. Angel was standing right next to me when ‘usual’ receptionist said 11:45–she looked AT HIM and said “your only time is 11:45”, so hopefully this was brought to his attention and I believe he would remember just as well as I did, if not better. And he did mention something during our visit that prompted me to say “Seriously, I was told 11:45–and I take this VERY seriously, just like a job”, to which he chuckled “I don’t doubt it, you’re one of the most punctual people I know”. Damn right I am. I’ve done everything he’s told me to–from paging him to showing up for appointments–TO THE LETTER. I’m the only one who ever has to wait–not him. So, I hope I don’t have to interface much with ‘new’ receptionist because I may snap on her if she antagonizes me again. The f*cking nerve. Dr. Angel asked me to page him at 8:30am tomorrow, and I’m tired but I set my alarm for 8:20am. 150iu Bravelle.

Saturday: I dutifully page Dr. Angel, who cheerfully answers the page and informs me that he is going to be a few hours yet because he has yet another delivery. I think women who are delivering in January got pregnant in…April last year? I guess “spring fever” is legit, because Dr. Angel remarked that he has “A WHOLE BUNCH” of due dates this month, and I’m pretty sure he’s delivered a baby (or two) every day this week. The man has stamina! So I wait….all day…and finally page him at 2pm to see if he has a plan…and he has me come to the office then. Two lead follies and four small ones–I’m hoping that two of the four smaller ones can mature in time to trigger, so I can get my ‘Fabulous Four’ I’ve been gunning for this cycle. 150iu Bravelle.

I feel a helluva lot better than I did on Monday. I’m feeling optimistic about this cycle. I feel ‘touchy’ but not overly psycho and my bloating is much less (than previous medicated cycles), which I’m attributing to not taking the Letrozole this time around. I’m going to be cautious and start doing OPK’s tonight, because I’m feeling certain that I will ovulate much sooner than previous cycles.

My Grandma has her lumpectomy (for breast cancer) this coming Friday, so that’s a big deal this week…a really big deal. Thanks for keeping her in your prayers–she’s a special lady. Her prognosis looks good!

I gotta unpack all the boxes in the new place–been procrastinating. Well, but then I’ve also had A LOT of stuff going on…regardless I gotta get my house unpacked so I can resume cooking in my kitchen and stop eating out (though I’ve been eating mostly salads). It’s hard to motivate cuz I’m lonely and the place feels foreign and most of all, I don’t have cable yet. It would be SO much easier to motivate to unpack my living room kitchen if I had the Food Network or Bravo to keep me company. Mr. MLACS hooked up his PS3 in the bedroom so I can play dvd’s, but all his dvd’s suck (action movies) except for ‘Kung Fu Panda’ and ‘Juno’. Now I’m not going to watch ‘Juno’ for blatantly obvious reasons, although I do like it. So I’ve been watching ‘Kung Fu Panda’ on repeat, and I’ve probably seen it 5,000 in the last 3 days…but I really like it. I admire Asian culture and philosophies anyway, so I can appreciate the Zen teachings that are subtly communicated in the form of a cartoon movie. I love Po, the unassuming Panda who possesses the abilities to save his village and recognize his dreams to become a kung fu master–everyone tries to change the goofy panda, but what they all learn is that he doesn’t need to fit their image of what a kung fu master should appear to be, he just has to be his best version of himself and apply himself. I find it very inspiring. XO

 

 

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13 thoughts on “I Can See The Horizon!

  1. Love ya girl, I was just going to hop over here to see how you were doing and was happy to see your update. I’m praying for total healing for your grandmother, in Jesus name, and believing in His mighty power to be revealed in her life, as well as yours. You sure have been through a lot, and I admire your attitude to fight this with everything you have – you are an inspiration! I’m going to write about your grandmother down in my journal so that I can remember to pray for her on Friday. Please keep us updated!

  2. I love that you say “amazeballs.” You crack me up!!

    Love this update, your spirit, your energy, your voice. Kung Fu Panda—of course you would Zen-ing out on Kung-Fu Panda.

    Thinking of you and your grandma today. XO

  3. I’m so glad things are getting better. I am so excited to hear how this IUI goes. I hope it’s the one. And I’m glad you are feeling more confident in your doctor, I know that makes a huge difference. So yay for positive events 🙂

  4. I’m so relieved to hear things are a bit better this week hon. You have been in my thoughts and prayers a lot. I will also keep you Grandma in my prayers too. Fingers crossed this is THE cycle!!!

  5. I actually came to check on you because I haven’t seen a post from you. Some how totally missed this, but I’m so glad you updated and I’m happy that things are getting better for you. I’m optimistic for this cycle too! 🙂 Sending prayers for your grandmother as well.

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