Gobble Gobble (I’m Basted)!

turkey baster

It occurred to me how timely it is that I got “turkey basted” just in time for Thanksgiving…

Here’s the last 2 days events:

Yesterday (Tuesday):

  1. Saw Dr. Angel yesterday morning for dildocam monitoring and was happy to see that my follies measured ’21’ and ‘19.5’ and my uterine lining is circa ’12’. Got the HCG trigger shot!!!
  2. Came home yesterday after seeing Dr. Angel and tossed around the idea of having sex (against doctor’s advice)…finally Mr. MLACS was like “Screw it, we ARE DOING THIS”, and so we did “it”.
  3. We ate at Gordon Biersch and went to go see “Hunger Games: Catching Fire” at a badass movie theater with leather reclining seats–first ‘date night’ in a month!
  4. On our way home I just felt awful–headache, bloating, my Ulcerative Colitis was ‘flaring’ pretty hardcore…I’m thinking at least part of this is due to the HCG trigger shot (do you think so?). And of course, I still have my head cold–I look like Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.

Today (Wednesday):

  1. Woke up at 7am (even though I had intended to sleep in a little) when Mr. MLACS had to get up to go give his “sample”–he went without me but I couldn’t fall back to sleep!
  2. Mr. MLACS came home after giving his sample and picked me up (while the sperm was being ‘processed’) and then we went back to the fertility clinic to pick up the sample. (The reason we had to pick it up is because we were doing the IUI with my OBGYN, Dr. Angel, but had to have the sperm processed in the fertility clinic at our local University Hospital, then retrieve it and take it to Dr. Angel’s office.
  3. Sperm Stats**Total Count: 412 million  Post Wash: 160 million (80% motility) Final Specimen: 51 million (100% motility)
  4. My Husband is the biggest Cock-A-Doodle…literally…he’s SO proud of his sperm he’s strutting down the street practically crowing like a rooster *eye roll* But I will say that I find him entertaining when he’s like this.
  5. Dr. Angel’s office wasted no time getting us in a room and Dr. Angel almost walked in on me sans sheet and “naked-from-the-waist-down” (I have heard this phrase no less than 20 times this month, and not from my husband). Dr. Angel made quick work of the insemination and left me to “marinate” for 20 minutes while Mr. MLACS acted giddy and poked fun at me while I was in a compromised position. Again, I want to smack him when he’s obnoxious BUT I can’t help but laugh.
  6. After 20 minutes Dr. Angel ushered us to the “dildocam theater”, where we were able to admire my 2 lovely follies, which had grown to 21.5 and 21, and my uterine lining was still  a plush 12. Needless to say, Dr. Angel, Myself, and Mr. MLACS were practically high-fiving and congratulating each other on our jobs well done. I have to add, Dr. Angel was in rare form today and made us laugh with stories about his residency and some of his colleagues (who are batsh*t crazy btw). I giggled the whole time we were in the office! I just LOVE me some Dr. Angel. Seriously.
  7. Dr. Angel instructed us to go home and have plenty of sex, but what really happened is I went to make a bank deposit and buy some probiotics in hopes of pacifying my vagina and colon (Thanks Emily), and while I was gone Mr. MLACS passed out on the couch and now he’s snoring while I’m blogging–there is no ‘sexing’ going on. Oh but I promise you that we will get a session in the next couple of hours, even though I think our bases are covered between yesterday’s sex and today’s ‘basting’.

So that’s all for now folks. I have to wake up at fuggin’ 6:00 in the morning and page Dr. Angel (lest he may be delivering a baby or whatevs) and meet him at his office at 6:30am for a dildocam appointment to see if I did ovulate. I freaking hope this works! Then, I will go straight to my family’s house and prep the turkey and put that sucker in the oven–and pray that I get a nap in before dinner. Mr. MLACS (and me, sort of) are optimistic…last night while we were waiting to be seated at the movie theater he was googling strollers…it’s SO adorable…please God let this work so I don’t have to see his face crumple like a little kid who just found out Santa Claus isn’t real (again). Amen.

HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING LADIES!

XOXO

 

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17 thoughts on “Gobble Gobble (I’m Basted)!

  1. Ya’ll are rockstars with your 12 mm lining and his post wash counts that high less than 24 hours after doing the deed. This one is going to work! Hope the probiotics help too. Love those little magic pills!

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