Will Work For…?

Hey ladies, what’s happenin’?! Well here, I’ll go first:

I was 100% correct with that BFN on 12dpo, and I started AF on Monday, as scheduled. IT WAS SO F*ING PAINFUL. Omg, I was popping the ibuprofen gel caps (fyi they work way better than the tablets) 400mg every 2 hours and it still hurt like a mofo–like I was grinding my teeth and holding my breath. Which was just icing on the cake because I started my new job at the medical office on Monday! Oh yeah, it was an 11 hour shift and guess what: they don’t take lunch breaks! I expected an hour lunch break, but nope, they don’t take ANY lunch break and instead they take turns making infrequent trips to get food or coffee (there is NO Starbucks nearby either *hurumph*) and they freakin’ expect us to eat quickly in the back room or bring it up front to the front desk–which seems SO unprofessional to me. If you are a sick person do you really want to walk in to a room that smells overwhelmingly of chili? Me neither. Yes, I am aware that this practice of no official break/lunch is totally illegal. Um, we also don’t clock in. You record your hours in a log book. Freaking weird huh? But everyone is really nice, including the docs that own the clinic. Supposedly the profit sharing and bonuses make up for the BS (snacking for lunch). And they are compensating me for 3 new pairs of scrubs–nobody does that. I’m so torn about this situation. And you know what makes it more awkward? I’m a horrible liar, and I’m keeping stuff from them. I don’t want to tell them I’m taking Remicade for my Ulcerative Colitis. I don’t want to see the look of shock and dismay on their faces when they realize that I am a “sick person”–don’t want the stigma. This clinic treats a lot of contagious sick people and I am taking a risk by being on an immunosuppressant drug and exposing myself to whatever might walk through the door. I wonder if maybe I am stupid for even considering taking this job, but I’ve been on Prednisone (a steroid/immunosuppressant) and worked in the same type of clinic and I never got sick–save for a typical winter cold. I had to “dance around” telling my new employers/coworkers about the Remicade though, because I needed a flu vaccination and I can ONLY take the flu shot (non-live vaccine) and NOT the flu mist (live vaccine)–and they asked me “Do you have asthma or something?” and I simply said “Yes”…which is partially true because I do keep an inhaler around for occasional exercise-induced asthma…but I felt like such a liar! I know it’s none of their business but still…these people treat each other as friends, and God forbid if something should arise (I get super duper sick) and I have to tell them…and what if they think I’m just a big fat truth-concealing liar???

In Procreational news, I had to put the smack-down on Freedom Pharmacy, but my Bravelle should arrive tomorrow–and it only cost me a $75 copay!!! How sweet is that?! How lucky am I?! I am so very grateful, because that’s really all we can afford right now (since the IRS is taking their sweet time returning the money they wrongfully took from us). Freedom Pharmacy just pisses me off–they couldn’t tell me my mf*ing copay, and I kept having to call them back, and finally I said “get me a manager because I don’t have another 24 hours to play phone tag and I WANT TO KNOW WHY this is so difficult, if you are indeed a legitimate pharmacy.” And manager got on the phone, apologized for the two other phone reps who had given me conflicting information and no answer as to what my copay would be, and she went and ‘fetched’ that information herself–when she told me it was only $75 I did a little dance and thanked her and hung up the phone. But cheese ‘n rice they are such a pain to deal with.

I worked 1/2 the day today and called my OBGYN ‘Dr. Angel’ as soon as I got home, so that I could figure out the protocol for this cycle and arrange a time to come in this Friday to learn how to do my Bravelle shots. Here is my protocol:

1. Begin 2.5mg Letrozole CD3 (today)

2. Begin 75iu Bravelle daily on CD7 (Sunday)

3. Come in for monitoring daily until follicles mature

4. Do the trigger shot and IUI

This is such a circus…first of all, Mr. MLACS doesn’t arrive home until next Friday the 22nd, so I’m just slightly concerned that we time everything so that he’s around to “do his part”. The other thing is, I just started this new job and I DON’T GET A LUNCH BREAK, which I was counting on to be able to rush over to Dr. Angel’s office and do my ultrasounds/monitoring without having to take time off or give an explanation. FML. What am I supposed to tell my work? They said they will be flexible about my schedule for the first couple weeks while I’m training, because I wasn’t supposed to start until December, but still…they will expect me to give some explanation or else they will think I am weird and shady. Any suggestions? I’m at a loss. And there’s more….

I got this job for several reasons; I’d like to save up and pay cash for nursing school (I have enough student loans for one lifetime, thanks); I’d like to travel with Mr. MLACS; I’m glad to have the experience since I plan to become a nurse; I need something to keep me busy while Mr. MLACS is gone; etc. We don’t particularly need the money, especially because Mr. MLACS just got a promotion and pay increase–his pay increase is more than I will make in a year at this job. There’s pro’s and con’s to this job, and I’m not sure if I should even let them waste time training me if I’m not going to stay…can you guys take a look at this and tell me what you would do if you were me?

Pros:

  • Money–you can never have too much money
  • Experience–my nursing school resume will look ‘beefy’ with the variety of clinics I’ve worked at
  • Purpose–it’s great to know that you’re helping people; it’s great to have a reason to wake up in the morning
  • Social–it’s great to interact with people, instead of being a “homebody” and sitting around until everybody else gets off work
  • Schedule–it’s full time but I only work 3.5 days per week (Three 11hr shifts + One 5.5hr shift)

Cons:

  • Health Risks–I’m on Remicade, which suppresses my immune system. I may not get any more sick than a “normal” person. Or, I may end up with a raging infection that threatens my life. WHAT IF I GET PREGNANT?! Could I live with myself if my brazen job choice put my long-awaited child’s life at risk?
  • Time Apart–Mr. MLACS is typically going to be gone 1/2 the month. How am I going to tear myself away from him?! This first trip is actually more than 3 weeks and when he gets back next week I just want to glue myself to him. Work-Schmerk. Blah.
  • No Lunch–seriously, this is sort of a deal-breaker for me. I live 5 minutes away from the clinic, and when you’re working 11 hour shifts sometimes you just need to get away during your lunch break (hence the word ‘break’). I’m not a doctor or a nurse and I sure as hell don’t get paid like one (um, some of you wouldn’t get out of bed for $11.50 per hour, right?) So I want my mf*ing lunch break.
  • Privacy–I have doctors appointments more than most people, and I’m sure there will be times when I need to go to the doctor and these people are going to roll their eyes and look at me funny. I mean, these peeps don’t take lunch. And when people who work there need a doctor, they see our doctors. So how am I going to keep my medical information/history private??? FML.
  • Travel–Mr. MLACS finally has a schedule where he gets time off! For the first time in our relationship! I want to go places with him. This clinic works with a skeleton crew and the only way people get time off is if other people are working overtime for them.
  • Socio-economic status–Ok, this is a tough one but I’m just gonna put it out there. I have nothing in-common with my immediate coworkers. They work at this job because they need the money, because they are an integral part of providing for their households. I have to downplay my situation in order to “fit in” with the other office staff (it’s always this way in every medical office I’ve worked in). It’s a conscious effort I make not to mention certain things so I “blend”. I’m proud of the fact that I work because I want to–I think that says something about my character–but it would be arrogant for me to share this with my coworkers. I don’t get any satisfaction from having more than someone else and I take care not to gloat–I despise people who parade their good fortune (and most of the time people who act like that are full of sh*t anyways). I can’t wait until I’m in a position (such as a nurse) where I mingle with coworkers who are in similar situations as myself so I don’t have to feel like such a schmuck.

My choices as I see them:

  1. Quit this job immediately so they don’t waste any time training me and I don’t miss any time with Mr. MLACS when he’s home for the next 2 weeks (not my fav option because I’d like to make a couple paychecks at least).
  2. Wait until I find another job (go find another job!) and then quit this job
  3. Wait until I’ve reached a pregnancy milestone, such as a positive HPT or graduation from first trimester, then quit so I can just rest and focus on my health/safety (staying away from sick people).
  4. Quit and just do charity work to stay busy (until I return to school) and don’t worry about making an income.

Any other options that you suggest I am willing to entertain, if you feel like putting yourself in my shoes and dishing advice. There’s just SO MUCH to consider and I’m overwhelmed and not prepared to make a decision. I don’t want to ‘screw over’ the clinic and work just long enough to entertain myself and line my pockets, but on the other hand a friend pointed out to me that the clinic wouldn’t think twice about acting upon it’s own interests, so I shouldn’t feel guilty about acting in my own interests. I am perplexed.

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20 thoughts on “Will Work For…?

  1. Oh man – you’re in a bit of a bind for sure. I must admit, I am concerned about your health a bit. The last thing you need is to get a BFP while working there and while on Remicaid. Pregnancy runs the immune system down even FURTHER therefore making you even more susceptible to sick people problems. BUT money is good. So is experience. Overall, I say quit and take classes toward nursing. That’s my 2 cents. Also, super excited for you that you’ll be growing some super eggies this month! Go girl go!

  2. Seriously, no lunch?? Snacks don’t cut it for me, I need a LUNCH! I dunno what to suggest, other than maybe feel it out for a few weeks and see how you’re feeling? If you’re not pregnant just yet then at least you don’t have the worry about affecting a pregnancy yet. I agree, you shouldn’t feel bad about letting them train you then leaving (but then again, I probably would too).

  3. I’m thinking bag this job. Doesn’t sound like the best reason to risk your body. And I’m wondering if you could find another similar position that would give you lunch time (even 1/2 hour?) and/or that you would be less at risk of contracting something nasty. I had chemo a few years ago and after I was cleared to work again, I started working as a special instructor for early intervention in some very shady neighborhoods in philadelphia. I thought I would be fine and then I found out that a parent in one of the homes had TB. Tuburcu-friggin-losis!? I was out of there so fast, MY head spun. I explained to my new employers what the situation was and that I was in no position to jeopardize my health like that. They were very understanding and told me I did not need to return to that house. Needless to say, your health comes first. BUT, I get wanting to work… tough call…

    • Oh we are definitely on the same page! I worked at a low income/homeless clinic in the Southwest (mostly immigrants) for awhile (while on low dose prednisone) and I was blissfully unaware of what I was exposing myself to at first, and then I brushed it off. But after this past year, I’m not brushing anything off–sh*t got very REAL for me when I became sick enough to turn to Remicade. And chemo is rough girlfriend! And so is being an early childhood advocate (in Phila-freakin-delphia), mad props. XO

  4. It sounds like the risks of getting sick didn’t stop you from applying in the first place, but that now the scheduling of your work duties and lack of breaks is what’s most concerning to you. You need to decide if the $ and pros will outweight the cons, but I think the mature thing to do would be sit down with your manager and just say something like…

    “I wanted to thank you so much for the opportunity to work here. Everyone is so welcoming and nice and easy to work with, and that is so important. However, I am slightly concerned with the scheduling of my work duties, esp. in regards to breaks/lunch during the day. After my first day working 11 hours with no lunch break, I thought it best that I be completely up front with you. I want to make sure I’m right for this position and the last thing I would ever want to do is waste your time or mine. You should probably know that I am currently undergoing fertility treatments, which require some sporadic doctors appointments. While this has not caused me issues with any jobs in the past, I have always had a lunch break that could be used to tend to doctor’s appointments. I must admit I’m a little concerned to realize I won’t have any openings in my work schedule to leave the office and tend to personal doctors appointments. Creating a family is something that is extremely important to my husband and I, and I wish we weren’t having to seek medical help to make it happen, but we are. I just wanted you to know this, and ask if you have any suggestions for how to handle the need to step away from my duties if/when the need to do so arises? Is there a certain protocol or expectation? I want to make sure I am an asset to your team and handle everything appropriately.”

    • Well…I agree that this is the mature thing to say/do, and thanks for taking the time (as always) to offer a well-articulated and thoughtful response. I just am not ready to be so forthhright about my personal business. And I didn’t know what job I was applying to! It was a “blind” ad for a medical office position on craigslist with no mention of the type of clinic–I didn’t know until I interviewed, and when they offered me the position I didn’t hesitate to say “yes” as sort of a knee-jerk reaction, and I thought “maybe I won’t be so exposed” but the first day we sent out a dozen freaking strep cultures and it “hit me”–this is no joke, I can get really sick.

      • Ah, I see. Well that makes a little more sense then. Although my situation is different, I’m even scared of being on dexamethasone and substitute teaching a bunch of little germ balls who want to high five me and talk in my face everyday, so I can totally respect that! GL making the right decision for you!

      • You are not kidding! Kids are giant germ balls. My sister runs our family’s home daycare (began by my dear departed Mom) and while my Mom was NEVER sick, my sister is sick all the freakin’ time. Probably because she keeps mostly teacher’s kids! Lol. XO

  5. So here’s my thoughts: 1) As for your Remidcade usage, I think if/when you do get really sick, they will understand that you kept it private. Your health issues are personal and you are allowed to keep that information priviliged until you feel comfortable enough to disclose it, or forever. (2) As for the appointments, I would simply tell them that you have doctor’s appointments scheduled that you had scheduled a while ago. You don’t need to explain what they are for. That is PHI and you don’t have to share it. (3) I would try to see how this job pans out. You may really love it and want to stick it out for a while. Or you may hate it, and in that case you can quit once you get your HPT, or another job, or whatever else comes up. Good luck with whatever your choose to do. ❤

  6. Since you said you wouldn’t mind if we put ourselves in your shoes, I’m going to give it a go. First of all, that stinks that you don’t even get lunch. What the crap? I work for a government office and we don’t get breaks, but no lunch? I’d go MAD if we didn’t get a lunch. And you’re right – no one wants to go into a doctor’s office smelling your onion soaked burger. LOL! Secondly, I would worry about your health being there. If working there posed a health risk, I wouldn’t be there. The money and experience is nice to have, but the state of your health is SO much more important. I would focus on baby and me at the moment, but that’s just me. I know you will make the right decision for yourself and your husband. Sending you some hugs! I know you’re in a bind right now and I pray you find some answers soon. 🙂

  7. No lunch?!? That would be a deal breaker for me! I’m not sure I could put myself in your shoes… Sorry. Remember? I quit my job. 🙂 No matter what you choose, just make sure you are doing what is best for your body and mind. You need to take care of them the most! Thinking of you as you make a tough decision.

  8. Well, as I just got harshly judged by what I hope was a rogue venom-filled commenter (not published) who called me selfish for quitting my job (among other things), I am now the biggest advocate of quitting all jobs everyone, right now! (: But really, for your health, it could be a good thing to take it easy and not have to deal with work. You are dealing with so much! But this is coming from a girl who is counting the days so take with large grain of salt.

    • Whaaaa? Who’s picking on you? Man I do not agree with that. I feel like if somebody doesn’t like your blog, they should just ‘unfollow’ you. And honestly, I expected at least one person to call me an a**hole for writing this post but you know as the saying goes: “you can please some of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all the people all the time.” F* the haters. Thanks for being supportive (and funny).

      • F the haters, yes! I briefly considered writing a blog post responding to the comment, but my better self took over and decided to stop the toxic flow. I felt super-violated. Now I feel angry that someone tried to kick me while I was down.

        If we lived in a tribal culture, maybe you and me and other women suffering like this could go sit in a hut for a month and meditate and take care of one another, and not have to worry about work. Then again, maybe in a tribal culture they’d just kill us for not being able to have babies! Ha.

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